Post Natal Style.

I've stumbled upon a secret I wish I had found out years ago.

A few weeks ago I went to a used kid stuff store, and got me some pregnancy jeans. 2 pair of NEW looking & well constructed pregnancy jeans for 18 bucks. No, not each, TOTAL for both.  Looked 'em up. One brand retails for $150  (what kinda idiot?), the other for $70. I swear to you, they look like maybe they've been washed a max of 3 times.

But this is not the secret.

The secret is that pregnancy pants are the best pants ever, and everyone should wear them. No lie, if I could go back in time, I'd've warn these sexy things for years.

Reason's Pregnancy Jeans are awesome:

1. Apparently, when jeans are jean from the hip down, and spandex up from there, they are as comfy to lounge around the house in as spandex. If you think I say this in hyperbole, you'd be wrong. Before I purchased these, I'd wear spandex/thick leggings around the house, saving jeans for outings. Now, even if I don't think I'll leave the house, I'll put on jeans just to watch TV.

2. They fit like a dream. No need to find ones that fit your legs well, as well as your waistline.  I swear they look cuter on me than any jeans I've worn in the last 3 years. Snug on my legs, cute on my bottom, and even before I "popped," the spandex above the hip was awesome. No need to worry if the top band is cut too slim for for my curve, or so loose it shares my butt crack with the world... as long as it fits my legs, it wins!

3.  The perfect Thanksgiving Pants. Need I say more?

4. Potty time made simple. No unbuttoning and un zipping. The convenience of a pull-up in adult pants.

Captcha what?

Is it just me, or have these captcha's gotten a little out of control. I got a bunch the other day that were truely rediculous.  Prove I'm not a robot? How? because only a robot could possibly read this captcha, so if I get it right, I am clearly a spam bot?

Like this one...5040? 504C? 5042? 5840? 584C? 5842? 5640? 564C? 5642?

Or maybe it's clear as day, and this is just another symptom of Pregnancy-makes-you-feel-like-an-old-woman-syndrome.... I'll post on that one later.

Pregnancy according to Seuss

I "popped" this weekend. I swear—Thursday, I was like "this." Friday, I was like "THIS." Helpful description, I know.

Babies wanted to make sure I was ready in time for the 2nd trimester. Either that, or they  think that the Star Belly Sneeches are awesome, and conspired together.

Marie: "Wouldn't it be soooo cool if our momma were a Sneech?"
Donnie: "Awww, heck yah. I bet we could do some re-aranging down here and make it happen."

I can dig it, but if they think I'm gunna put myself through a belly tattoo machine, they're seriously disillusioned.

The Financial Wisdom of Old men.

I can't remember if it was my mother, father, or someone else that told me this story, but it's one I've never forgotten. It's about something Patriarch Whitney (from my hometown  ward/church) once said. Here is the story, in my own words:

A time came that Brother Whitney was considering buying a car for his wife.

Being of a more practical generation, he sat down and did math. Cost of car divided by life, cost of gas, cost of monthly insurance, maintenance, etc. 

In the end, he determined they would save money if his wife TOOK A TAXY every time she had to run to the store, wanted to go out to lunch, etc. So they didn't buy a car, and he told her to call a cab whenever she wanted to go somewhere. 


Strange, huh. You might think "ug, Cabs are expensive. I don't want to pay for a cab just to go pick up a prescription." But, in the long run, in some family situations, it might be cheeper than getting a car. 

I think about this when I think about car ownership. 2 cars is nice, but do you need one? Is ridding the bus really all that bad?

I've even decided that when I have the babies (brett is going to stop working from home and thereby will need the car to go to work so he doesn't have screaming twins distracting him), Brett can take the car, and I don't need my own yet. I can use it when he gets home. I can walk a mile to the grocery store if I really have to. A car payment, insurance, and gas, won't be worth the few times a week (if that) I actually make it out of the house with twins without B's help.

From Whistle Wok to Saltines and 7-up

We keep passing this place called Whistle Wok Ice Cream Chinese. The name cracks me up every time.  Friday, Brett decided to try it. I wasn't hungry (don't worry, I spent the rest of the weekend with an unsatiable hunger), but Brett had the joy of getting more food than Panda for lest cost than Panda, and not supporting a chain, all in one go.

Unfortunately, the food (according to Brett) was worse tasting than Panda... something I didn't know was possible.  I hate Panda. I used to think I hated Chinese... but mostly I hate Panda Express.

He then spent all of Saturday on the couch/in bed, sending me to the store, and very insistent it was food poisoning. He would not be getting his precious prego wife sick.

He got his prego wife sick. I threw up more times last night while I was trying to sleep, than I have in the last few weeks of pregnancy. (Week 10 picked up, and I threw up 3 full stomaches... but still no nausea and still like ripping off a band-aid Hazzah!)

I 've spent 30 minutes to "drink" a quarter cup of ice chips, just to throw it up. I've had to stop in the middle  of exploading from the "other end" just to turn around and vomit in it. I've had chills when I vomit, and something akin to nausea. A spoonful of applesauce burning my raw throat.

B spent the first half of the morning saying things like "I don't get how I could have gotten you sick?" That's right, my love. I might have all the same symptoms as you, but you couldn't possibly have given me "food poisoning." I must have something else.

Oh, true love. My sillly true love.

Anyhow, now I am lying on the couch, happily munching on the only thing I can keep down—a sleeve of  saltines—like some sort of pregnant woman

Dignity

I got teary today at a stupid video.

I want my dignity back.

Week 10- things you don't care about.

Boring PG things I thought I should write down for future reference

Food cravings— not really. More of food ennui.  I have turned my nose at a few things, or thought, "I guess I can eat that/that sounds better than anything else right now,"  but none of it feels like the food super powers (or supper power, har har har har) that I've been led to expect from this my entire life. I REALLY MISS ENJOYING FOOD.  Even good food isn't as enjoyable. It's all force feeding my lack of appetite.

Nausea— I like to deny this one too.  Maybe I have it, it's just not as I expected it to be. I don't get nausea, though I do get "blah tummy." It's a symptom easily solved by force feeding myself stuff that I have no interest in.  I have thrown up 5x, all very small amounts (about 2 TBSP), only 2 of which contained food,  and none preceded by nausea.  In fact it is usually a cough, that irritated my gag reflex, which somehow triggers a serries of violent" burps." That's right, burps. A gagging attempt to get gas out of my tummy.  Lasts about a minute, then I'm fine. Almost always if I sit up to fast in bed.  Like I said, mostly just "clear foam" so far, no bile... though the stuffing & lemonade was probably the worst tasting vomit I have ever had to date.  If this is as bad as it gets, I'll take it over nausea any day.

Fatigue— I'll say. I wake up several times at night, but can now sleep through 7 or 8 hours if I just i go back to sleep. As a result, I wake at about 8 which is odd for me. Then, I need a nap about 2 hours later. They range from 30 min to 4 hours.  I get tired again later in the day, but can rarely nap again—though I try to nap just as hard as I try to deliberately split infinitives.

Back— does get tight easier. Either that or same knots just sticking around. I can usually get B to give me a 5 minute massage. He's the best.

Circulation— OH MY GOODNESS. Polo is needier lately. Always wants my lap. 5 minutes later, my legs are numb. Can't cross my legs for very long without feeling like my leg need blood. Can't sit on my feet (which I always do at a desk), need to put my feet up on ottomans/people more often than before, and about once a day MY EYES BLACK OUT if I stand up too quickly, or in the shower (heat).  B says this has only happened to him maybe once in his life. I've gotten it a few times a year for decades. It's my bodies version of dizzy, I think. I steady myself for about a second, and it my sight comes back. Always happened from standing up quickly (though not every time I stand up quickly) or standing up that takes me from shadow to light (or vice versa).  I've come to understand that your blood vessels expand/get bigger  during this whole process, sot hat is what I am blaming it on.

blah blah

I'm getting the impression that Smith & Wesson are vegetarians. I have no idea where they get it from.
Also, I'm really glad to have a dog right now.  I loose interest in everything I eat after about 2 minutes.  Polo, however, does not.

Manipulative little buggers.

So back at the end of September, before anything was known yet, I started having this strange sleeping change. I usually sleep 9.5 hours. That's what I do. I take it, and I love it. But I started waking up after 8 hours. Wide awake. Strange,  so tired during the day, but not able to sleep it off.

Well, the last few weeks, it's evolved to more like 6 hours. I blamed the sun. I thought, perhaps, I'd developed a sensitivity to light that made it difficult for me to get more than 6-7 hours.

Well, last night I went to bed (exhausted) by midnight. Took forever to fall asleep, then I woke up at 4am.Took forever to fall asleep, then I woke up at 6 am. Took forever to fall asleep, then I woke up at 8:30.

WHY CAN'T I JUST SLEEP ANYMORE?

Then I figured it out.

THEY'RE WEANING ME OFF OF SLEEP. The little jerks are weaning me down to hour and a half sleep increments for their own SELFISH purposes. They have plans for me. Oh yes, they have plans.

Miscalculations

Make that 4 bags of carrots.

3 bags of carrots

A few weeks ago, I was carrying a bag of carrots up the stairs as a surprise for my Brett Brett. The man loves carrot juice. It was a heavy bag.

"Oh my goodness," I thought, "this Costco bag must be 25 lbs."

I was wrong.
It was 10 lbs.

Now, if in optimism, I probably should have thought "Good job Charlo! You know that weight you lost between the beginning of August and the end of September? ...you know, that 5 for going off sugar, and the second 5 from either staying off sugar, or from drinking 8 glasses of water a day/not eating after 8pm?  Well, girl, you lost a whole heavy bag of of carrots!"

But no.
That's not what I thought.

"Crap. I'm supposed to gain 3 bags of carrots."

My poor feet.

Mint Mint Mint

So, I like mint. I like to eat it with chocolate, and I like the smell of it.

Somehow, the other day, I got grasshoppers on the brain. I haven't had those for so long. Even before this 8 week challenge, I'd been trying to eat things that weren't processed or full of chemicals for years, and for the most part, I've been pretty good... I just find sweet things I can eat that are more homemade.

Well, today I wanted grasshoppers again. I asked Brett if he thought I could find some with wholewheat and honey.  He told me if grasshoppers were still in season he could dipp them in honey, but the whole wheat might  be a bit akward. Har har har.

Anyhow, he came back from the store today with a box of grasshoppers "for my cheat day." So sweet.
I just put one in a mesh bag, and have been carrying it with me so I can sniff it whenever I want.


I'm not weird.

Everything coated in dairy.

Ahhh. Lovely Autumn Allergies.

The Russian Thistle is in bloom (tumbleweed).... breath it in, nice and deep.

This was not, perhaps, the best time to simultaneously go off allergy meds AND start shoving dairy down my throat. 

Mucus glands, rejoice! Ye are free to play!

I'm in the phase where nothing sounds good most of the time. Not nauseated or anything, but complete lack of appetite, and a little unsettled... yet I feel best after I stuff myself.  Yesterday I didn't want to eat anything, so I drove down to the store, bought my raw milk, and sat down at a table in the store and drank 4 glasses of milk before I left.

One of the employees was also sitting down to lunch. She kept trying not to look at me. Clearly most people don't bring a cup from home so that they can drink their milk right there in the store. When I caught her eye (around glass 3) I uttered those two all-too-explanitory words.

She laughed. "I remember that." All is forgiven. I can be a weirdo and drink my milk right there in the store now.  Those two words excuse anything. 

Today, same issue, nothing sounds good. Brett kept telling me food we have, and to each I replied, "we have nothing to eat!"

"Fruit salad?" He finally suggests.

"Oh, with yogurt!"

He had something more along the lines of "with watermelon" in mind, but I win. With yogurt! Everything coated in dairy. TO THE STORE!

I found some Kiefer while I was there. Drank most of it in the parking lot. Best Kiefer I've ever had. True story.

The good stuff, only much too small

Yesterday I chirped and chirped until Brett fried me some chicken in coconut oil. His spices were a little off, but I ate, and ate and ate. Most content my tummy has been in days.

Generally speaking though, if I just get over myself and eat something, I'm usually fine with it. It is just in my head that everything is out to get me.

The 8 week Challenge.

I mentioned the 8 week challenge in my last blog, briefly. It starts next Tuesday, and in spite of my loathing of the concept, I decided to do it, and I signed up yesterday. 

Partially because it had a concrete start date and would commit me to resuming my no sugar thing soon, but mostly because it will simply be a way to "bond" with my neighbors that I know, but not very well—because I'm not part of the mommy brigade, the playground platoon, or the pool-time playgroup.  I could just go hang out at the playground and get to know all the parents there, but there is something creepy about  a childless adult— that you only sort of know—sitting on a bench, waiting for children to come out after lunch, is there not? So, joining the 8 week challenge is what I consider "a social effort." Sometimes I have to force my self to make small talk and form new relationships. 


Here is the break down of the challenge—

On Goal Setting: what works for me.

I'm a firm believer in setting goals. Setting them, and tracking them. It's been shown that those who set goals and constantly review them are extremely more likely to reach their goals, whether they be spiritual, mental, physical, or financial.

Now, My church Ward/condo complex women (because in my case the boundaries are the same) and a few men decided to do an "8 week challenge."

Even though I'm big on goals, I'm not particularly fond of these challenges. I don't mind the competition, I just hate the concept of having to pay to do something you should just do for free (ie: run 5k). I also think it is a little arbitrary to have one set of goals for multiple people. No one is at the same point in their life, and different people need to work on different things.

But I blather on. Today is my last day of 30 days no sugar, and I did it on my own. It wasn't the first time I tried to go off sugar, it's just the first time I did it without cheat days.

I made a spread sheet for all my goals. I marked them off (or left them blank) every single night.  It took some getting used to, and I had to start bringing my charts with me  on campouts and vacations. Started trying to chart in september, but it wasn't until june 1st that I charted consistently.  

My intermittent charting helped a lot. Even though I wasn't tracking my goals obsessively, I was still reviewing them periodically, and because of that, I'd forget my goals less often, and I'd make efforts to incorporate vegetables into my meals, etc.

But it wasn't until I started charting every day that things really became habit forming. I wanted to mark things off, and when I pulled it out right before bed, I'd see things that I could still squeeze in and mark off.

That's when the power of the streak began. I couldn't bring my self to break my streak. There was something about the visual... about seeing 25 bubbles in a row filled in (see today's other post on scripture reading). And so, no matter how tired I was, no matter how boring the section I was in was, I had to read at least one verse. But I never did. I read at least half a chapter, and more often a whole chapter... or two.  There are still nights when I forget to do it, but I pull out that chart as I climb into bed, and I'm reminded that I'm on a streak... and you can't break a streak. 

I decided to try for the power of the streak with sugar. As I mentioned last week, I doubled that up with a goal to use money saved from eating junk food (increased daily $ value the longer I maintained that streak).  

And it worked. Set Goals. Review Goals. Track Goals. Give yourself Visual feedback to show your progress.  Eventually, I am going to be awesome.

Long Lost Goals of 2011—Goal 15

Last night marked 65 days in a row of reading my scriptures. That, I believe counts as fulfilling the goal of reading my scriptures.  My goal wasn't specific, I just new I needed to get better at it, and it took  a while, but I can now say without fail that I have improved. 

What can I say. After reading the BOM 3 times a year for 5 years, I got pretty sick of it.  They say it gets better every time, but I couldn't stand the monotony any more. . The only way I was able to get started this time was by reading the Pearl of Great Price first, then conference talks,  then picked up where our Sunday School class was and then I tried to just read all of them before class. Then I got down to reading every day. And now, I can definitely say "it's more interesting than before."  Partially because I can focus better, partially because somethings make more impact when read with less time between the sections. But I'm thinking that after this, I have to go to New or Old Testament. Take advantage that what we have is a second testament of Jesus Christ, and not the Only Testament. 

I mentioned earlier today the power of the streak.  It's simple easier to keep a ball rolling  than it is to start it rolling—at least if it's a heavy ball. Some where along the line I realized that I had read my scriptures (one of those easy things to squeeze in) for 25 days in a row.

That's when the power of the streak began. I couldn't bring my self to break my streak. There was something about the visual... about seeing 25 bubbles in a row filled in. And so, no matter how tired I was, no matter how boring the section I was in was, I had to read at least one verse. But I never did. I read at least half a chapter, and more often a whole chapter... or two.  There are still nights when I forget to do it, but I pull out that chart as I climb into bed, and I'm reminded that I'm on a streak... and you can't break a streak. 

...Last night marked 65 days in a row of reading my scriptures. 

The Long Lost Goals of 2011— Goal 6

 Goal 6—Hoping I’ve learned lessons from the inefficient gardening of 2010, I want to make a more successful Garden this year.

First off, I miss my SLR. I can't wait to get it back, in the mean time, enjoy the lazyness of my point and shoot

Well, this may have been the one goal I was decent about keeping updated last year. I started seeds in yogurt cups out in the sun, planted them in   pots on a timed hose over and the in-aws place.  It had it's ups and downs. 

I had cucumbers, squash, pumpkin, and watermelon all survive, unlike 2010 (where only the squash made it). However, I only got a few cucumbers, my pumpkin was small and not completely ripe, my watermelons were tiny (2), and my squash were pathetic compared to the precious year. My tomatos did okay in pots, the snap peas did fine, as always, and the swiss chard wasn't hearty enough to pick. Oh well. 

Anyhow for TAKE 3, or Garden 2012,  I made a garden at our stake plots (year one was ward plot, but they stopped doing it)

I started my seeds in yogurt cups, much later than I should of, but they did okay under my new grow lights, and I look forward to starting them EARLY this way next year. 

I then weeded our stake plot, and transplanted them.  You see  those weeds taking over my little mounds, I was weeding it several times a week but they were persistent little buggers. 

See how optimistic and covered with dirt I am?

I was really excited because the raddish were a supperfast harvest... about a month for these cute little french breakfast raddish. I ate them, then picked the rest of the row and ate those too. 

I got slightly sunburnt that day, as you can see from this disgusting photo of my arm. But I went all with crazy castor oil/glycerine/rosehip seed oil/tea tree oil on it, and IT NEVER PEELED. SO, I had a pretty sweet farmer's tan for a while. 

My first pea harvest (small, but exciting)

Now, I get something like THIS about twice  a week.

I HAVE 19 TOMATO PLANTS.  3 were donated from a nursery (Early Girl/ better boy), and all the rest were one's I started from seeds... though one of them is still only 8 inches tall with no hope of growing, so we'll say I have 18 tomato plants.  

My tomato rows a few weeks ago. 

My tomato rows yesterday

They are basically falling on each other and the tomato cages are all bent. 

These Early Girls have something like 30 tomatos each. This is my 5th red tomato from them. 2 I picked, and 2 someone blatantly stole. BLATANTLY, as in I decided to give the  maters one more day, came back and someone had clearly broken them off the vine, not eaten like a bug, but cut the vine. JERK 

above- Early girls, donated starter from a nursery

bellow- My Purple Cherokees in all their glory.  I hope they ripen before the frost. 

Then, I planted sweet 100's in the same row as some plum tomatoes, but I can't tell them apart, so these (below) are one of those. 

Here I am standing next to Brandywine. Only 2 of those made it to maturity, and so far, these are THE ONLY TOMATO PLANTS (besides the 8 inch one we are pretending doesn't exist) THAT DON'T HAVE ANY GREEN FRUITS ON THEM YET.  So sad. they have flowers, but I doubt we'll harvest from these .

My tomatos are So exciting. Imagine how excited I would be if I actually liked tomatos!

This is the ripest of my sugar pumpkins. I'm guessing it's about 8" in diameter. I've been picking off all the baby pumpkins to make sure it has enough strenght to finish, but a few snuck by me and I didn't have the heart to kill them, so now I have 3 pumpkins. The others are just a little smaller. 

Here you can see two of my 3 bean plants, that I put in when the other squash died. You'll notice the weed wall to the right. I spent so much time trying to keep the tomatoes and squash area weed free, that I'm afraid the other half of my garden got a little lost. 

The Bean plants are so small, that it surprised me that one of them was hanging in fruit. Say hello to my dragon beans. 

I had some broccoli seeds for sprouting and eating as sprouts so I planted some and got super excited.  Turns out, they are pretty sad as plants very sparse little wispy things, so I let the weeds take them over.

Then the nursery donated some broccoli plants, so I put two of those in.  They are no where near as tall as my seedlings and have no buds, but they are much stronger in stature. 

Say hello to the other half of my "Garden"

If all you see are weeds, you're not looking hard enough (but let's be frank, it's mostlty 4 foot tall weeds)

See, my bolted lettuce? I ate a good 3 of those before I let them be.

I'm not sure if this (below) is swiss chard or spinach I had both before the weeds conspired against me. Wasn't as waxy as my swiss chard though, so I think it is spinach.

And look carefully for my carrot leaves

I just ate these for lunch. The Horses ate the leaves for lunch a few days ago. This variety of carrot, I learned, gets pithy if you don't cook them soon, but cooking them firmed them right back up.

I'll keep picking my snap peas, carrots, get some more  tomatos hopefully by the end of august/september. 

AND NEXT YEAR I will definitely PUT DOWN WEED BLOCKER FABRIC.  This stake plot is just out of control with weeds.