Unfinished Craftiness of a Stupid Mommy

You think with all the exhaustion of twins, I will simplify my life. Mostly, that's true. For example, the first 2 ish weeks, I pretty much lived in little more than a bra and panties... cause whats the point. My shirt was off most the time anyway (in the beginning, shirts just get in the way, especially if you double feed, and since your milk isn't in, they pretty much want you all the time), and since the Lochia starts out akin to a heavy period, I was changing my pad so often, or getting blood on my pants, so really I gave up on clothes and mostly wore one of several pares of these pretties that I bought on sale at target:

Because I'm a big girl at the ripe old age of 31... and because I always (never) watched Sesame street. 

Well all the simplifying gave me ideas of how to re-complicate my life by making things I could just buy. Sure it's cheeper to make it... never mind that once you calculate the ridiculous amount of time it takes me to cut and sew things with babies in my lap, I probably "make" less than Chinese factory workers. 

I started by making my own nursing pads. They seamed so simple. To date, I have 4 finished sets, and 8 unsewn sets sitting by my crappy sewing machine. I decided to further complicate the process by adding a wicking layer to the front, and a waterproof layer to the back. In side by side comparisons ( I made 2 of the pairs just flannel), the waterproofing are better for me, because the flannel soaks right through, and the waterproof ones almost seam like I'm not leaking...

Until Today.
Well, At least I know the waterproof layer works.

This convinced me to go ahead and pump ( for the 4th time) since O was dead asleep (and it was Mr. E on my other side that had encouraged this little ring, so he was already full). Just my luck, as soon as the milk is in thefreezer, O wakes up and demand milk. So he got his first bottle.

I also decided that the regular hand mittens suck because they always fall off of baby hands (now that they are 11 #ers, they stay on well), so I cut out a bunch of  mitts and sewed (drumroll) 1 pair.  They stay on beautifully, although they are a little harder to get on. They are also cuter.

Made from an old poorly fitting TEXAS shirt. 

and to think I only have 3 more sets sitting at the sewing machine, weeks later

Now if only I could find a solution to this poorly sized sock issue. they are all seemingly made for babies with stubby feet, so by the time their feet are big enough that they don't fall off, the babies heels are way up the ankle of the sock.


In retrospect, this is all crap I should've made before I had the babies... but I was on bedrest, and tracking down supplies was a little difficult. So instead I spent bedrest crocheting  a bunch of poorly size hats that no one wore.

Except maybe Brett, that one time.

Oh and I made a crochet shape that does nothing

To my credit  though, I did make a changing pad, travel wet bag, and a diaper cream while on bed rest. Of course I then once I was juggling babies, I just had to make another batch for the future, and labels... because napping is a stupid idea.

Spray paint the lid of a hard candy tin, fill with Diaper Salve, let cool

The homemade label is necessary, because it almost made B laugh. 

Oh yes, and I made a homemade-toothpaste dispenser, because shoveling it from a jar is obnoxious.

Unfortunately as much as I love it, it turns out that you have to refill it every few days. 

And toupees, because  E was feeling self conscious (and O is a supportive Brother)

Comb over much?

So, I have this band...

The stylist told me that cool guys have bangs.

He didn't think his toupee was convincing enough. 

Because Ender has grandpa hair now. 

Craft time, and some funny stuff

Usually when both babies are sleeping, I make a very delicate choice between putting myself down for a nap, or feeding myself. I usually want to do both, but something's gotta give. About twice  a week, I shower, but then I usually regret not napping.

This week though, I've had some nights of decent cumulative (though highly interrupted) sleep. I wasted some of those hours trying to make a tacky, and highly contrasty mobile. Brett said I was trying to scare the babies with scary shapes. 

To be fair, I was going to do non scary things like bee and bat silhouettes, but they looked like a pain to cut out, so I did cute and cudley non threatening amoebas instead. 

The babies don't even seem to notice it. That was a waste of time. 

There, I blogged a craft.

So now I can talk briefly about babies. 

THINGS NO ONE TOLD ME:

Breast feeding makes you have to poop. I knew it helps contract your uterus, and that when you feed for a while, you will have cramping as your uterus shrinks to near pre-pregnancy size, but no one told me that once the uterus is mostly shrunk, the cramping turns into the urge to poop. 

Totally serious here. I've checked lists on "10-20 things no one told you about breastfeeding," and "the urge to poop" is not on a single one of the lists I found... that's how shameful this secret is. I even googled "breastfeeding makes me poop." and got nothing. I know it's real though. If 50 % of the time I have to poop happens suddenly while I am breastfeeding, then there has gotta be something there. And don't tell me all these things about statistics and causality vs. correlation, and how I can't necessarily say the breastfeeding causes it... believe me, I've been pooping for years, and I'm confident that BF makes me poop. 

MOMMY CONFESSIONS:

On more than one occasion (when, luckily, the above urge happens when I'm only feeding ONE baby), I have continued to bf while I walk over to the toilet, sit down, and poop. I try, in all honesty, to wait until they are done feeding to do my dirty business, but sometimes there is quite the sudden urgency to it all... and either I make a baby mad by taking away their "sunshine" (that reference is for my sister), poop my panties, or feed the baby on the throne.

THE DADDY CORNER:

Brett tried to work half days at home for a few days, because he hates being unproductive, likes his job, but wanted to help. I was good and didn't make him help often ( plus I had other helpers) so that he could work, but he kept coming into the bedroom to "help," even when babies were quiet and content. Come Friday, he tells me he deffinately has to go into work. He can't get anything done at home. 

vague idea of the conversation:

"Is the noise that bad?"

"No, but the babies were distracting "

"I was really trying not to bug you, I only asked once or twice for help so you could work, but you kept coming in. "

"I know, I just like them."

I wish I remembered exactly what he said, but it was something like that. So cute. He's usually not super doting with them, but one morning he decided to kidnap the contented Mr. O and cary him around with him while he got ready for work. Then, he sent me this photo 

Yup. that would be his shoe shelf, stuffed with clothes, and a happy Mr. O. 

Last of pregnancy

Since Ashley doesn't use facebook, I thought I'd better let her know I had a baby. Then another one.  Here are some highlights since May. 

• The last few weeks of pregg, I got PUPPS (not to be confused with my newer Pups/Litter that Polo is still growing accustomed too).  Was trying to figure out how I was getting so many spider bites, while no one else was. Poor tired liver.   Enough to drive a woman mad. Ended up putting my homemade diaper cream on it... if i could resist the urge to itch for a few minutes, it helped. I think it was the beeswax making a layer on my skin so light brushes didn't aggravate my itches. 
• May 11th I had by Baby Shower. This was followed by being put on bedrest. Yeah! The night before I suspected a leak. Midwife checked me out, and everyone's hearts were good, my blood pressure was good, and since the leak/ trickle was very occasional/sparse, it looked like a high, small leak... So 35.5-38 weeks, I was on bed rest, and a lot of vitamin E to seal up that leak. 
• I snuck out of the house 2 or 3 times for short excursions. Wore me out. .
• Bed rest made my butt disapear. Some people exercise to loose their booty.  I, unlike others, have to exercise in order to get a butt. I walked 3 times a day with Polo prior to bed rest and had a very nice bottom that I was quite happy with. By the end of bed rest, I had no butt. It melted. 
• My butt has yet to recover. Flat nothingness. Clark  butt.
• 38 weeks was awesome, safe to come off of bed rest:  far enough along for a safe delivery, and the leak seamed to have sealed slowly over the last few weeks. 
• 39 weeks, still pregnant, and getting nervous.
• At about 39.5 weeks midwives were still a bit stumped about their positioning. I had opted against ultrasounds unless necessary, and usually they can feel out position, but the babies were doing something weird.  We knew one was breach, and one was not, but beyond that a little confusing as to which legs went with which body. Neither baby had claimed my pelvis as it's territory.
• We did a Robozo  (39.5) to try to shift the head over (and a foot out of my pelvis —which explains the occasional really weird tickle flutters I got), but Baby A put his foot down (har har har) and said "Nope, I be commin' butt first, my brother can wait." He sat indian style above my pelvis in protest.  Lookin' like I was going to have BREECH Twin FIRST (which is OBGYN speak for "C-section)." Feeling out the leg, the more experienced with twins/breech of the midwives estimated my babies were about high 5 to low 6 lbs, and was ok/ comfortable letting me home birth/vaginal birth my twins. 
• 40 weeks, still pregnant, and a little nervous. Don't get me wrong, originally I had wanted to get to 42 weeks to give my little Lumpkins plenty of time to bloom and reach healthy sizes, but when  you are put on bed rest at 35.5 weeks, and still make it to 40 weeks, you are a bit shocked. 
• 40 weeks (exact) midwives recommended an ultrasound to help confirm size, because they didn't want my Breech baby to get much bigger.  I did it, knowing ultrasounds are notoriously inaccurate (the tech said they can be as much as a lb off).  The twins measured  in at  7 lb 7 oz and 7 lbs 10 oz on the ultrasound.
• This made the twin/breach expert nervous, antsy, and eager to induce me (herbally). This was Wednesday, and the thought of getting enduced that night —or even Thurs— made me want to cry.  I had had such confirmation the whole pregnancy that home birthing and waiting for the twins to come on their own was the right thing, and that all 3 of us would be healthy, and God was aware/in support of my choices. 
• Blessed that my actual/primary midwife had similar feelings and said she would stand behind my decision, whatever I chose.  Such a comparison to a hospital birth where most OBGYN's would have (a) pressured me into inducing at 37/38 weeks according to logic I don't agree with, (b) made me deliver in an operating room "just in case, " based on the fact that I was having twins irregardless of my individual risks, (c) flat out refused to do a breech vaginally, especially when the first was breech. It means so much to have a provider that respects that this is my decision...as well as one that is trained for (and not afraid of) breech births
•  I wanted them (babies)  to come when they were ready, not when we induced them out, but the twin/brech expert was leaving town Friday or Saturday, and the old/wise experienced midwife who trained most the locals was only available to be  backup on Sunday. I also strongly felt one of them should be there. I told my midwife Friday. Thurs was too soon emotionally. Try to get the "local expert" to put off her vacation until Sat.
• That night I had A little talk with the babies and a little prayer for them to be ready. I had maybe 3 contractions about 1 hour apart. Nothing unusual... but often my braxtons are so subtle I don't notice them unless I touch my  tummy and feel the tightness... and I hadn't had cramping ones often at all, and none for a while. These ones were a little more painful and with a little more hip/back aching. 
• Thurs Morning I got a few more here and there, a little more persistent, by noon, they were not quite regular, but I'd never had so many together or at least  as noticeable (cramps). Midwife came, I had Brett come home because I was getting pretty uncomfortable.
• Breech baby came around 8 am Friday, foot and "whats this?" "let me see... well what you are feeling is a scrotum" "Oh, it's a boy....honey, it's a boy... someone go tell my mom A is going to be a boy..."   Baby A weighed 6 lb 8 oz (suck it ultrasound and your 15 oz error...  you can measure a femur and a skull, but my boy's got  boney chicken legs). 
• Baby B came about 6 hours later, and took quite a bit of persuading. He had a bigger head by 1 inch, was a little shorter, but weighed more than his brother at 7 lbs 2 oz (only 4 ounce error this time). Oh yah, he was also a boy... surprise... and clearly "younger" than his older bro, even though he was more filled out.