Only Slightly Christmas Related Thoughts.

Any one else been lucky enough to load this page when the "blue christmas" song plays turbo speed? Its happened to me a few times, and totally made my day... and then the following songs- Aimee Mann doesn't sound too horible chimpmunkized.

Then, there is this link: http://www.myspace.com/barackinchristmassong The singer is Brett's Dad's Wife's Son's Wife.... aka my step-sister-in-law. Fancy, huh. One day dear little Cricket will say, "Auntie Ashley, will you sing me that political christmas song I do not understand?"

Wish it gave more than a preview of the song.

Now, go entertain yourself with something more useful than reading my blog- like writing comments about the stupid blogs I write.

A Story for the Boys- Not for the weak of stomach

If there is one thing I've learned about boys in the last few years, it is that they love fart jokes. They don't find them humorous- the find them absolutely hilarious.

The following is not a fart joke, but a true story. No names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Last night Brett and I went over to my brother Nathanial's (and his wife Tiffany's- naturally) house for dinner and games. It was late when we were debating a third game, and I was starting to get a headache, but since I really don't spend enough time with my brother (especially for him living so close) I figured that if I was going to have a headache, I might as well play a fun game while I was at it. Headache turned Migraine, and- as it often does- migraine triggered Nausea. The Nausea was a bit stronger than normal.

Then Nathanial Farted, and I threw up.

The end.

Okay, brett asked me to come back and write more (He said it ends too abruptly... thus farther proof that boys love their fart jokes, and don't want them to ever end).

Brett had been tooting loud scentless ones all night, and I yelled at him as I ran for the toilet. Then Brett came into the bathroom to inform me that Nanial had admitted it was his.

I knelt there, in reverent homage to the household fixture that had so humbly accepted my small, yet precious, gift -- and I began to laugh; Nanial's fart made me throw up.

I admitted afterwards that I felt a little better, and I was honestly a little torn when Nathanial-being the kind, gentle, older brother that he is- kept offering to help me some more. I new that if I threw up again, I'd probably once again feel better...

... yet there is nothing pleasant about a fart that makes you vomit...So I declined (trying to shield myself from his generous anal outpours) and left for home.

I threw up in the car less than a block from Nanials.

The end.

Internship Done!!!!!

Well, sometime ago I gave up on waiting for Brett to finish school so that I could go do a real internship in LA. Luckily I got a job for a magazine around august, and was able to count it as an internship. I finished the required intern hours long ago, but today - last day of finals- I finally turned in the independent projects I had to do in order for it to count... the projects I didn't start until this week... which is why I haven't been at work all week... which is why I'll be working next week when everyone else is on vacation.

I would still like to do a more challenging internship and take advantage of the learning opportunity. I was tempted to look for something sometime next semester and precede Brett to California by a few months, but The company I work for (even though they pay crap) is full of good people, and they hired me as an employee and not an intern. They don't make me come in at 9 am or show up every day... I feel I at least owe them my being responsible enough to follow through with my commitment. Plus, the magazine They put me on is still so new and it would be difficult for them to keep up if I took off right away.

In other news, The teacher I have my final project with is back next semester. IF I get that done, I am officially done. Hopefully I've been off BC long enough to his inconsistency and inability to remember what we've been talking about for the last several weeks (let alone 10 minutes ago). GRRR.

So, I think I want to evolve sewing with my photography... as in sewing on the prints. Its popular in scrapbooking (the result of working for a scrapbook mag co.)< but I don't want to just sew on it, I want it to have a purpose... I have a few Ideas but PLEASE give me yours. Keep me motivated.

Alarm Clocks

I was one of the many victims of a "self setting" alarm clock and congresses decision to change daylight savings time... the result of which is that I am still using an alarm clock that jumps an hour a month too early, which I have to fix, and then it doesn't jump on daylight savings time, and I have to fix it again... and, by the way, I was very angry to discover that it had no arizona time zone... I mean, come on! as if arizonians didn't deserve to have an alarm clock simply because they don't do daylight savings time.

The moral of this story, is that In the last few months, I have spent way too much time here and there searching for the perfect alarm clock. It doesn't exist, by the way, but I am open to suggestions. I have given up on dual alarm clocks. ours was cool 'cause you could set a weekday and a weekend time or a time for each of us... but I like the idea of not having to climb over a sleeping brett to turn off my alarm.

THINGS I WANT
1. Ascending alarm. ESPECIALLY ON BRETT'S . Some times he wakes up easily in the morning. Other times it takes a loud blast to wake him up... and frankly, that is not kind to me. In fact, it makes me very angry. I'd prefer the nice crescendo of beeps... and when it wakes me up, if he is not yet up, I can kick him (which is how I woke him up in the beginning of our marriage. and it has to be one that gets louder... . Problem is that some say ascending alarm, when it is just a quiet alarm that gets more frequent....Mine can be one that chirps more and more frequently. I'm cool with that.
2. Atomic Clock. NOT self setting. that is a scam. Worked great for power outages though. I need an atomic clock because Congress decided they didn't want the prophet reminding me to change my clocks- and now I don't.
3. Not friggin ugly. THis is the first thing I look at in the morning. Why are so many alarms ugly

OTHER NICE TEMPTING THINGS.
1. Outdoor temperture
2. Ceiling projection. Silly I know, but house sitting for my brother, I came to like it.
3. Nature sounds? are they worth it?

THings I don't want
1. Radio alarm. .. because brett might use it. and he has a tendency of turning it up really loud... and there is nothing more annoying than morning radio where the hosts refuse to play music and make you listen to there stupid chit chat about their sex lives.
2. Indoor temp. Clutters up the screen... and lets face it, that is why my thermostat comes with a thermonitor. THere is only one thing I need to know. WHen I take off the blankets, will I be cold? Check yes or no.
3. Humidity- huh. Why. Do people really wake up and think " I wonder what the humidity is today?" I think I'd be more likely to think " I wonder if My elevation has changed today."

SO, tell me your favorite alarm clock.

Sea of Undies

Remember how I said I don't like to put laundry away until it is time to do laundry again?

Well, what drives me nutters about this habit of mine, is that I can never seam to find my own clean underwear, even when the laundry is freshly clean. I'll dig and dive through a basket of whites, but I just keep to pulling out pillowcases and bretterwear- No Charlowear... I swear it's cursed.

Book Description of the Day

Looking through the top books at Amazon.com... I noticed one by Glen Beck called "an inconvenient book."

I've never followed Glen Beck, though I have many people praise him... Slightly interested in anything that might mock AL Gore, I scrolled down for the product description:

"The world is a mess. It seems that every time you turn around, there's another problem: Iran is developing nuclear capabilities. Public schools actually seem to be making our kids dumber. Charlie Sheen has a hit sitcom. Obesity is a national epidemic. The divorce rates is rising faster than gas prices. Did you hear me--Charlie Sheen has a hit sitcom! "

Yes, I heard you... Charlie Sheen has a sitcom- and I feel quite unfortunate to have actually seen it. No really- have any of you seen it? It is quite horrible... as in poorly made, bad idea, how did it get past the pilot episode... I thought, "this must be a good 25 years old, it is really, truely horrible, and insults my intelligence." Turns out it is not old. It is quite young. I tell you folks, I didn't get all the way through third grade for nothing (name that movie).

This could be deep. Glen Beck, I do think you are on to something.

Blog quote

"I'm really excited to give my wife so many things I know she wants. But I'm MORE excited I'm going to get so many things I want. Yes, yes. I know. I'm a horrible person. But, in one week, I'll be a horrible person with a lot more STUFF!" -Austin Beckstrom

I wish I had a river
I could skate away on...

Tradition!

I could never really think of any "Christmas Traditions" our family had... except maybe going to Grandma's ... but after maybe the age of 10 or so that quickly got warped into "a week or so before christmas," which more or less sucked the fun out of christmas. If I wasn't the youngest, I'm sure christmas day would have stayed exciting longer... I really think the entranced children make the holiday a lot more fun.

Then, one tragic college year, I was the only one (I think so, at least... maybe not) home for christmas that year. My Father put on Elvis' beloved Christmas Album as we gathered around the tree, and my mother insisted he turn it off...

(How can anyone find " uhhh, I'll, uhhu, hav'a blu' (bluuuuuuuuu-eeeeeeeee-uuuuuuuuuu-euuue) Chri'mas (bluuuuuuuuu-eeeeeeeee-uuuuuuuuuu-euuue), Wi' out you. (bluuuuuuuuu-eeeeeeeee-uuuuuuuuuu-euuue)..." Annoying?)

I made a happy realization that day, and retorted with "but mom, it's the only tradition we have...

... and it is the unfortunate truth that no properly bred LDS mother can argue with Tradition.

Elvis-1, MOM-0

I've also added songs from the aimee mann christmas album... I'm tempted to buy it with Christmas money, but then that would be silly.

quiz

I have extended the music quiz 'till christmas, because I only have 4 answers... and I'm pretty sure 3 of them were the same person...

Well, that... and the fact that I think the music adds a nice touch to my elvis post.

Mr. Craig Man

Craig's birthday was full of surprises.

Last night, He got the decoy gifts.... Mary gave him size c batteries... which apparently doesn't work in anything he owns- and we gave him some lovely cookies I burnt (well, I didn't realize Brett had made fish sticks a little before and turned the heat way way way up), and when I say burnt, I mean... well, they looked like charcoal briquets... and while he was unwrapping it Lucy (little lap mutt) went absolutely bazerk... Craig thought it would be funny to give her one... since she was such a little bratt about it..."serves her right," but, as it turns out... Lucy really likes carbon cookies. Ate it and started frantically digging (yes, hyperly digging) at craigs tummy begging for more.... Mary said I should market this dog treat (aids digestion....?)

Then, Mary wanted Brett and Gabe (her son) to help out with another birthday surprise this morning... It was fun to hear Brett's guesses (well... it couldn't be paint balling because she would have told me what to wear... maybe airsoft? lazer tag?)

The got manicures and pedicures. Brett's feet are luxuriously soft... Gabe and Craig opted for black toenail polish... brett went with orange.... for me. So sweet.




That one photo makes Brett's gigantic size 13 feet look awfully dainty.

Do people shed seasonally?

I ask because I feel like my hair falls out excessively in the shower every winter. I'm not certain on the winter part... but I do know it goes through phases.

How bitter enemies became the best of friends

... for a few short moments.

So, ya, I don't like snow... but a few weeks ago when we got some, I was walking out, all bundled up, to head to work. I looked down on my scarf and saw snowflakes.


Now, I know that doesn't sound all that amazing... but up until now... I thought these symmetrical intricate snowflakes were merely the work of animators in cute little cartoons. I'd never seen flakes that actually looked like that... just little balls.

now, these are a little out of focus, and they melted fast... but here are the best of my quality time with the snow.

Carbon based

I discovered last night in the bathtub that one of the itty bitty diamonds was missing from my ring. I'm sure that those of you who have seen my ring are thinking, "which itty bitty diamond," since all three are itty bitty... and thats the way I like it, but I tell you the ring looks mighty odd without that littler one. I also will tell you how distressful it is to drain a bathtub full of little bath salt crystals... or to think of how it took me a full 50 minutes when I locked up the church that night - making sure windows were locked and lights were off (turns out we have a rather large basement and second floor I've never seen).

So I went and checked a few select places in the church. Naturally,it being no larger than an "o," I don't expect to find it, and knowing that I picked out a rather cheep promise ring, I'm not to stressed about the value- but still don't like the thought of it being flushed down to the ocean or vacuumed up and end up burried in a landfil.

Which just goes to show you, a diamond is not forever... or even if it is, what good does it do a girl when it is burried under 3 tons of slimy trash.

... and that is why I am glad I chose a carbon based life form for my best friend, and not a carbon based non-life form.

Question and Answer time with Miss Charlo

Mrs. Charlo... Sorry.

This is actually because I have "photographer's block," a rare and highly contagious disease that I made up to explain why I've been so slow this week, and don't appear to be accomplishing anything with the many hours I've been putting in to try to get stuff done.

So, no... This isn't me being annoyed... this is me avoiding WORK... a not so rare and non-communicable disease that makes people tired and cranky.However, if you ask me these questions in the future, it just might make me cranky.



1. SO, ARE YOU PREGNANT YET?

No. I'm just suffering from PMWGS.... Post Marital Weight Gain Syndrome. Actually, for All I know I could be. Ya, see... I have what you call "highly irregular periods." Bet you wanted to know that. If you didn't, that's what you get for asking me if I'm pregnant.

2. WHY HAVEN'T YOU HAD KIDS YET?

I don't know. Where do babies come from? How does one get on the waiting list? I was reading "what to expect when you're expecting" the other day, and it gave no contact info for any stork agency.

3.WHY IS YOUR CHRISTMAS PHOTO OUT OF FOCUS IF YOU ARE A PHOTOGRAPHER?

Because I decided to make cards last minute... Isn't my snow man cute... I gave him a scarf. YOu see, It was getting dark quickly, snowing and cold When I took it. It is hard to get things in focus in the dark, and as I hate snow, I didn't have much patience. Snow is Evil. Bill Gates made snow. It's one of the tools he uses to make windows crash... Like how the moon makes the ocean tides... it just makes sense, okay.

WOW. THAT WAS FUN.
If you enjoyed this installment of "question and answer time with miss Charlo," You are welcome to submit new questions via e-mail, or comment.

The Cult.

I browsed through Stephen Colberts new book... "I am american and so can you." In the religious section  the normal mormon jokes were made, and I rolled my eyes. After all,  I often enjoy the way he pokes fun of pretty much everyone, and that means I should be willing to accept that the blatant stereotypes and slight misfacts will occasionally apply to me. Everyone who his used to him knows he is a comedian, and not really a reporter.... though bits of fact to make it into his stuff... 

This aside, I was glad to see we weren't under the cult section...

Macintosh, however, was... which is funny, 'cause it kind of is.

Oh... how I love my Mac. 

Macs are awesome. Bill Gates is the devil and Windows is his Demon leader.

Yup. Mac is a cult.

60 ways to be my clone, an instruction manual

I DISLIKE LONG BLOG ENTRIES, SO I DO APOLOGIZE FOR THIS. READ IT A SECTION AT A TIME... WHEN YOUR BORED.

DISHES
1. dislike putting away silverware. It is the worst part.
2. When there are a lot of dishes, wash them in sections. Plates, cups, bowls...
3. Never wear an apron to cook, Always wear one to wash dishes.

LAUNDRY
4. Don't hesitate to do laundry when there is a washing machine in house, even if You have to go up and down stairs. Whine and put off doing it when it means walking down to the laundromat..even if that means doing more loads in the same amount of time.
5. Don't get around to matching socks until it is time to do laundry again
6. Same with putting the laundry away.

CLEANING
7. You must be both messy and methodical. Things will get messy for a while before you get around to cleaning, but when you do clean, You will pull everything out and reorganize. you will clean underneath the stove, and scrub the cracks between the baseboard and the wall.
8. When time permits, you will clean the house from back to front, each room top to bottom.
9. Vacuuming is saved for last. first put stuff away, then sterilize/scrub any tables, counters, etc, then Vacuum, mop, and Vacuum again. Never vacuume before stuff is put away.
10.You are not nearly the pack rat your father is; however, you hoard boxes and containers... Things to put things in and organize with.

VANITY
11. Try curling your hair with a curling iron no more than twice a year
12. Blow dry no more than 5 times a year... on a good year.
13. You don't do your makeup regularly. You go through phases.
14. Never bleach your hair. Dye reddish, brown, low-lights... but never bleach.
15. you go through contact phases, and glasses phases.
16. Purfumes, linnen sprays, sented lotions - No matter what the size, you never finish them off... even if they are sample size. Then you have a hard time throwing them away because you haven't used the last bit yet.. and you never will.

FETISHES.
Your recent fettishes (last 6months) have included buying/shopping for:

17. Lip glosses. (you bought about 10 in a 2 month period). (misc. fact: when you've lost all your lip glosses- doesn't matter how long you wait- they all suddenly re-appear the moment you buy a new one.)
18. Flip Flops. For the past 3 years you only had one pair. Suddenly, you have 6. (misc. fact. You don't like putting on socks if you won't be wearing shoes long. You will wear flip flops to do laundry, walking in the snow.)
19. Purses. Bought one at 16... don't use them much, except one sister once got you. Now you have 2 more and only use the one that matches your outfit. you have almost bought 3 more.

DISLIKES
20. Car scenes where the actor is not watching the road.
21. buying vehicles on credit
22. Taking pills. Always been horrible about taking them regularly. You really should during allergy season.
23. repetitive foods. It took you 8 years to eat turkey lunch meat again. been almost a decade and still can't eat strawberry or peach yogurt.
24. Interior holiday decor..A little is fine, but only a touch.
25. Most of the jewelry you photograph for a living.
26.Giving non personal gifts. Sometimes have too... but like finding more personality relevant gifts. or gifts with a meaning/ joke behind them.
27. the Texture of reheated macaroni and cheese.
28. Brett's razzleberry chapstick. It reminds you of a little girl who mixed 5 bath and bodyworks lotions- then says "mommy! mommy! look! Don't I smell like a lady?"... and that is why you hid it. because it would be dishonest to throw it away.
29. Reading long blog entries and emails... yet, you write them.

LIKES
30. Having Christmas shopping done by Christmas.
31. Strategy board games.
32. The color orange.
33. Holiday decor on the outside of the house. (within reason)
34. writing checks and paying bills. weird. but you find it rather satisfying.

FOOD
35. You recently discovered that you love Peppermint. Peppermint Ice cream, peppermint white chocolate, peppermint cocoa, etc. (plus it helps when you have nausea or a headache.)
36. If your mother says it will give you gas, it will.
37. YOu like it spicy.
38. You like fruit
39. You are allergic to most raw vegetables. (no, for real.)
40. Current favorite dishes are chicken enchiladas, and chicken tika misalla.
41. you love a salty stake.
42. you never drink enough water
43. You don't like milk
44. Absolute least favorite food- baked beans (slimy sugary beans... who's idea was that?)

CHANGES SINCE MARRIAGE
45. You have become more selfish. (poor brett)
46. Lost ability to write poetry... dang that stable relationship
47. Realized the potential for manipulation of others and occasionally uses it when mad.(not usually brett though)
48. You've slowly lost your memory. Never remember meetings, appointments, etc.
49. The predictable weight gain
50. Learned to eat some oriental food.
51. Lazier

MISC. oTHER FACTS
52.You always brush, but "seasonally" floss
53. Seasonally read. May read 10 books in 2 months... then nothing for a few years.
54. I don't have a clue how to do hair.
55.I'm a horrid speller.
56. Hate wearing shoes indoors.
57. Wear pajama pants all day when don't have to leave the house.
58. Pretty sure you are undeniably officially addicted to sugar
59. Get cold hands and feet easily
60. Despise having to get up in the night to pee.

Smelly

I know it is rude to tell people they smell, but what do you do when you have to be in a room with poor ventulation with someone who does. Odly, I've noticed it only happens when this person is standing up...

No, I am not evil, and I don't say such things to people, people can't help sweating easily. but I do have a hard time not gagging... sweet yet pungent,????

Anyhow, this all went over the top when I went to use the phone... and it smelled like B.O. Try talking into that reciever.

uuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Brett is teaching his sister how to play the 2 player battlelore, Rylan is sleeping on the couch, and the computer is busily converting 4 myasaki films to quicktime (brett is making a dvd "paper" for his class... talk about "see apendix a"). I tried taking a webcam pic to post, but photobooth froze... the computer is busy. So Here I am back on the bird's computer (carrisa and Rylan bird)... hence my spelling mistakes are even more prolific than normal ... brett put some computer spell check thing on our computer, so no matter what I type or in what program it is, it will spell check it. I'm sad I know. I'm also bored.

I tried learning to play "hey there delilah" on the guitar... but I suck. and my fingers hurt after 5 minutes. That is sad concidering how easy the song is. Maybe I'll stick to it and learn it, and then my mommy will be happy because she tried to teach all her children guitar, but we we're all brats.

I also thought about running to help counteract 2 days of road trip dieting, but it is 21 degrees outside... and while one could go outside in such weather, I would rather not. 21 degrees is what I call depression. below freezing wether is only for those anoyingly happy people who enjoy the challange of trying to smile while they shiver.

Idaho-ho

This week we've spent about 12 hours driving in Idaho. My general impression of the state so far? I'd rather live in Utah.

it's about 40 minutes between every small city. For the most part, farmland.

Rexburg? Nathanial, Corky, Mommy... What exactly did you do when you went to school here? Its old, its cold, and its dull ( and I'm sure when Sufjan Stevens makes there Idaho album, they'll have a line something like that... there isn't much else to say.)

Boise, in the brief time we were there, wasn't too bad, but for the center of the state capitol, I was awed by how little traffic there was. It still amazes me how many people put on concerts there. Either Brett or Rylan had a good Idea... it's on the way to Seatle... and you can't argue with concerts in Seatle... that's what seatle does.

Well, we took Carrisa and Rylan on their little road trip. I know about 3 hours into it they were looking around and thinking that this was the dumbest christmas present ever. but when we got to Boise and gave them the evanescence tickets, they didn't look so board any more.

it was cold waiting outside, and we had to listen to this one girl tell the guy in front of us over and over again how she had met them the night before and stayed up till 4 in the morning talking to amy lee... Wow was she anoying. I was careful not to move. I didn't want her to think I was alive. she might tell me the short undetailed probably made up story too.

Inside, we were about 3 from the front on the floor. The usual people trying to push and shove there way in front of you.... the usual unchrist-like thought of tripping them.

Opening band #1- Julien-K.... my thoughts
1. Please put on some clothes. If you are too hot to wear a shirt, why are you wearing a leather jacket.
2. You are a boy. Tight pleather low-rider pants are for skanky girls, not boys.
3. Hairstyles have changed a lot in the last 30 years... you should check some of them out.
4. Why are you gyrating? You are old. not hot.
5. How does the keyboardist play when he keeps smashing his head on the keyboard?
A few songs were ok. Reminded me of a punky sound with a depechemode influenced singer, who ocassionally went all rydell high.... My favorite was how he spit his water in the air at the end and leaned back as it fell and glistened on his chest. Ha ha ha ha ha...ew. gross.

Opening band #2 - sick puppies... my thoughts
1. I don't like your banner
2. Sweet. The bass guitarist is a chick.
3. Her outfit is way cute.
4. Wow... when the singer introduces stuff, he can drop 3 f's in a single sentence... how tacky. Ok. now it is starting to sound annoying. and you sound stupid.
Other people liked them more than I did, but listening to sound snipits off of i-tunes, I do like them better not live.

and Evanescence
1. I really like her piano work.
2. Happy they played old stuff, 'cause I've been out of the loop for a while. Newer stuff was good too. Carrisa and Rylan, of course, knew everything.
3. Wow, a lot of girls are obsessed with Amy lee. I like her, but I don't copy her hairstyles, get evanescence tatoos, and tell everyone my stories of stalking her... have you not seen her music video where her fans are all zombies grabing after her... That, my friends, is her impression of you. simmer down.
4. oh my, how does terry basalmo head bang without breaking his neck. Those dreads have got to weigh a good 30 lbs.
5. 2 encores baby.
6. I was the proud new owner of a evanescence terry basalmo guitar pic for about 15 seconds. I gave it to Carrisa and Rylan, who would apreaciate it more, under the condition that i get to take my picture with it.

We had a long drive home back to rexburg. got back at 3:45 ish. am. Slept quite well.

Standing Ovation

I am sooooo proud of Brett.

Typically when we go to Salt Lake for the evening, Brett has to bring 2-3 games, even though they now have tons of games up there, and we usually only have time to play one. (We've managed to corrupt both his dad and "Gabe & Ashley" with our love of board games... I swear, buying them is an addiction... I'd like to tell you how much his dad recently spent on buy some- but that would be rude.)

Well, I am proud of Brett because we are going to visit Carrisa and Rylan in Rexburg for almost a whole week, and Brett only packed 2 games.

Everyone, please clap for Brett.

In contrast, I packed 2 purses and 2 pares of heels. Lisa P. would be so proud of me.

Twinkle, twinkle, little toes.

Today at church I looked down at my open toe shoes and realized that my toes looked like they had some kind of fungus.

Last Week I let Sophie, Brett's recently acquired 9 yr. old step sister, paint my nails. I chose a sheer green glow-in-the-dark polish for my toes, thinking it would be cool.

problem is that it is now chipped, and frankly, I don't really charge up my toes with light and then lock myself in the bathroom to watch them glow.

The story of 20 kisses.

Once upon a time, that time being really late Saturday night- or really early Sunday morning, Brett fell asleep on the couch. I was surprised he didn't respond to his name because I had been speaking with him only a minute earlier. SO, I let him sleep while I finished up some work stuff.

Time to go to bed. I decide to see how many kisses it would take to awake him.

The answer, exactly 20... on the lips

The moral of this story is, that if Brett is a sleeping beauty, I am not his handsome prince.

Split brain Soup

For some reason I am yet to understand, my mother sent me an austrailian newspaper article on left brain/right brain. Well, it wasn't much of an article. It merely listed the traits of each.

Through out my life there'd be times people would say "oh, you must be ______ brained." Then they'd say some characteristic of it and I'd agree that I must be, but I never could remember which side of my brain was my dominant, and the article didn't quite clarify it for me... So I decided to embrace the multiplicity of quizzes on the internet and find out.

"Won't this be fun," I thought, "just like the time I found I was a Huffledore/Griffinpuff"

Site 1.
FAVORITE QUESTION
when someone asks me a question, do I turn my head to the left, or the right? (answer, whatever it means, is right)
RESULTS:

Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz The higher of these two numbers below indicates which side of your brain has dominance in your life. Realising your right brain/left brain tendancy will help you interact with and to understand others. Left Brain Dominance: (12) Right Brain Dominance: (12) Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz

Quiz 2.
FAVORITE QUESTION:
Do you do your best thinking sitting erect or lying down?
RESULTS:
left brain-9
Right brain- 9
(then it said I was predominantly left brained... which I don't see how you get that from a tie)

Quiz 3.
FAVORITE QUESTION:
(rate on a scale of 1-5)I like chaos
- actually, I want to know why they asked if I was male or female.
RESULTS:

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (46%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (42%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

(so it apears I do not use 12 percent of my brain... thats better than normal, right :) )




So what does all this mean? That I am well balanced, or in conflict with my self. I seem to suspect the later.

This turned out a bit more like the huffledore quizes that I thought it would.

Sally's song

Not that anyone cares, but I just found out that Catherine O'Hara did the voice for Sally in the nightmare before christmas... and I'm having a hard time with that. I keep looking for previews with her voice... and in the snipits I can't hear it... and I can't quite hear it in Sally's song either...

Now I should just come to accept the fact that like many actors she may just be able to voices. David Ogden Stiers doesn't sound like himself when he does Cogsworth (Beauty and the beast) or Dr. Jumba (Lilo and Stitch)... so why should sally sound like Catherine O'Hara.

Still bugs me.

I complained about the moat in front of our house...

and they built me a bridge... so classy, don't you think?






It floods every time a sprinkler breaks, or snow melts... and then it freezes in the winter... and then I chip it, then I come back an hour later and more snow has melted, pooled there, frozen, and our mail lady makes us pick up our own mail because she doesn't like to break her neck on ice. Apparently the Post Office doesn't supply their workers with ice skates... or helmets.

Old memories.

This is the gingerbread house I made last christmas. I put in the fence candles, but brett added the rest. This photo was taken moments before we lit the candles and let it catch on fire. Stupid, but awesome. we have it on video.

Coupons

So we had a service auction 2 weeks ago... I figured that while I was posting stuff, I may as well share with you the gift certificate made for it. Don't even try to print and redeem it. I only made one and I happen to know who has it. You should be able to read it if you click on it.

Every time I look at it, I want a pair of Haley's earings... not really sure what they look like, but from what I can tell they are pretty cool (watch, they are probably stick ons.)

contagious tackiness

A while ago in the grocery store I saw a cupcake cake... as in a circle of cupcakes frosted as if they were one cake... It was hideous, so naturally I made my own. I used at least a half a bottle of yellow food coloring and substantial red to get the beautiful muddy pumpkin yellow. It is a pumpkin spice cake with cream cheese "flavored" frosting. ... I'm just trying to figure out how to make the stem at the top. I'm totally bringing it to the family dinner tonight. Isn't it disgustingly beaultiful?

Pierced Chicken Masala

I've been wanting to learn to make indian food since I first tasted it... which was only, like, a year ago.

Well in 6th grade we had an india day, so I might have had some then. All I remember is that I thought Curry was awesome... and that Dikla blew my cover.

I totally had a few people convinced that my mom had let me pierce my nose for our India Fair ...but that I had to let it heal and close up afterwards... That, obviously, was a lie. OR- as I prefer to look at it- a test to see how convincing I could be. I'm a firm believer that april fools day should be celebrated all year long... much like some feel about Valentine's day.

I was going to tell them the next day, but Dikla quickly blew the cover off of my magnetic nose jewel... which, by the way was my father's. Don't worry Dikla... I doubt your reading this, but in case, I want you to know I've long since forgiven you for that one. Tears... sweet tears...

The moral of this story is that I made Chicken Masala last week, it was awesome, and I want to eat Indian food for the rest of my life.

Pleasure reading

Since I have met Brett, I have seen him read only two normal "for pleasure" books. He finished a Roald Dahl autobiography I started reading him on a long car ride, and after I got him stuck on the Harry Potter audio books (to his credit, he read the first potter book several years before I met him) he quickly read the 7th book (then read half of it again to me a little each night for a while).

On the other hand, I have seen him read- pretty much front to back and because he wanted to- the following:

1. My thick Camera manual
2. My Flash Manual
3. His HD Camera Manual
4. A trainingg manual for "Shake" software
5. Cocoa with objective C (Mac Programing)
6. Hours worth of exerpts from PHP reference manual
7. Hours worth of exerts from mySQL reference manual
and probably more

and Now, he is in the process of reading

- "WebObjects Web Applications Programming Guide." (yes, front to back)... which he is quickly trying to finnish so that he can read the acclaimed sequels...

"WebObjects Enterprise Objects Programming Guide"
and "WebObjects Deployment Guide."

When he finishes those he plans on going out and getting "WebObjects builder user guide," and some Java oriented programing manual.

And this is the type of stuff that distracts him from his homework. And the people at school wonder why he knows so much about so many different computer programs/programming. (and I wonder why he is studying film/ production management).

Why, pray tell, am I telling you this?

'cause some times I have to remind my self that deep down inside my husband is a nerd.

Just like the first time (I knew... I knew...)

The Scrapbooking magazine I am interning with is putting out their first beadwork magazine. We had proof day earlier this week, and it was kind of weird to look at it and think that, advertisements aside, every image in there was mine (and by "in" I mean "in"... I didn't do the cover.)

I don't like absolutely everything in there, but overall I am pleased. It was a fly by the seat of your pants issue anyhow. But, fortunately they were excited (good thing too since I think I tricked them into to paying me a dollar more an hour than they intended), and they only wanted one photo re-shot... for a better view of the clasp. Yip Yip... The Nov/Dec Issue should be out soon. Next issue I am supposed to do the layout for the magazine too. yikes.

Brett has worked on a lot of cool things via school... there was his intern on an indi film, his help with some of the BYU Animation depts. stuff but today we saw the end of a commercial on tv from a series he helped with. I was going to say it was his first "finished/shown/publicized" work, but then I realized that this spring he helped with a few Arctic circle commercials that have been out for a while.... gotta love the corniness of those. Anyhow. You can check out the ad he worked on for the Library of Congress at http://www.loc.gov/literacy/about/ ... he helped with the Camelot spot.

Oops, I did it again...

NO WAY... I just heard a brittney spears song on an advertizement for a discovery channel show... ummmm, wow.

The fall of man

It appears I may have corrupted Brett.

Something is wrong with me

So, What is with all the baby names I like, typically uncommon, suddenly coming out of the woodwork. A few of my favorites have remained elusive, but there seems to be a generational thing were we all have secretly liked the same names for a long time... and POP! out the names come. grrr. I gotta get all my babies out fast before all the good ones become trendy, and oh-so unpersonal... that's a good reason to get pregnant, right? Ha ha. jk


Not to mention I just saw a list of celebrity baby names and found some on there... what is with that? There is nothing worse than naming your baby after a celebrity baby.

Speaking of celebrities, is it a trend now to give your child 2-3 middle names, because I've started to notice that the last few days here and there in passing. What's with that??? (watch, I'll end up doing it and you'll all mock me for my comment).

woot woot woot.

I rather enjoyed this description on today's woot item. I don't usually check out woot.com, so I don't know if this particular prose style is common...

"Only a handful of great discoveries have advanced mankind in the quest to evolve further. The match. The wheel. The ottoman. The fishbowl. The cheese fry. Yet perhaps the greatest of these is the Chill Buster Portable Heating Blanket. The Chill Buster allows us the free movement of the wild, savage cougar-infested outdoors, only with the warm, snuggly up-to-120-degree protection that, until now, was only available to the joey of the rare Arctic Circle Kangaroo. With a lightweight 12-volt battery designed to meet the rigid specifications of the Ancient Egyptian Pharaonic Wiring Code, the enclosed grid of lightweight mesh keeps an even distribution of heat running across your body, recreating the feeling of watching Brad Pitt make out with Angelina Jolie. When fully charged, the Chill Buster Portable Heating Blanket will provide up to three hours of heating time, meaning that you can be happy the whole time you are becoming late for work. With the Chill Buster Portable Heating Blanket you can finally find the time to enjoy the outdoors and get back to the way our ancestors lived life: running from starving ice-cold cougars who cannot afford to buy their own electric blankets."

toys, work, etc

Work bought me a Canon 5D. Makes me realize how old my 10D is... and Canon even has newer cameras. Weird though. I noticed it didn't have any of the auto preset modes. Makes sense, but still weird. Like missing buttons that I was so used to having, but rarely using....

Brett is using it now. Taking horrible pictures of me (he never takes flattering ones for some reason) and abstract photos of the Vacuum Cleaner. I'm sure if it wasn't a Dyson, he wouldn't give it the time of day. So I guess I should be flattered. the fact that he takes pictures of me (that I later delete), as ugly as they may be, means that I am at least equal to our vacuum cleaner.

Also been using a macro lens that work also bought for me. Makes my job a heck of a lot better.

and they bought me an "expodisk" white balance filter. Never heard of it. but from my tests with it, it seams to be decently cool. Possibly a indispensable time saver.

And the nice thing is that the boss man doesn't care if I use the camera for personal stuff... even suggested it. I mean, I keep it at home and do a lot of my work from home, so it shouldn't matter to them if I do. Its just refreshing to have a laid back job where they realize that and don't get all grumpy about it.

ohhhh. and I told my art director that next issue I want to use some of my prop budget on some fresh fruit. My art director not only agreed with it, but told me to eat it afterward.... What? I'm confused? What ever happened to Micromanagement? What ever happened to the wastefulness and inefficiency of corporate procedures? Ohhh... thats right... I work for a small company, and they are still under the impression that I am not expendable labor. How nice.

Brett has been trying to photograph his own eye with the macro lens. I don't know how many of you have tried to take your own picture with an SLR, but is is hard to get the lens (at least on mine) far enough from your face for it to focus... so the macro lens might come in handy. He apears to have had success with his eye.

some times i feel way over qualified for this job. other days, I wonder why my work is so crappy...am I really that bad? Today, so far, was a good day.

Nothing much else to report. Except that I am taking tennis. I totally suck, but I love it, and m sad class is so short. I wanna go surfing... for the second time in my life. I feel rather ADD right now.

addendum

14. Visit my awesome friend poodle in DC.

I got the urge...

well, actually, a lot of them lately. In no particular order:

1. I want to float down the provo river
2. I want to swing from a rope swing into a lake or river.
3. Jump off a cliff into a lake
4. go hiking/camping/backpacking/canyoneering to coooolll places (frankly, I'm sick of arches... and I don't want an every day hike) I've got a good list of places to go to... the narrows (water yeah!) indian cliff dwellings, etc.
5. Go Snow Kiting ( I just found out what that was.... of course I've only gone skiing once when I was about 4 (well, actually, I just cried because my hands were cold) and I went snowboarding once last year (though frankly It was more like snow butting)... so maybe I'm not ready for snow kiting)
6. Go down a natural rock water slide
7.white water rafting
8. Get a pet whippet.... or two (um, so I never had a dog before... poor deprived childhood)
9. Travel to tribal countries (It's always been more aluring to me than - say- Paris, though I would gladly take paris)
10.RIDE A MECHANICAL BULL ... I'm so not kidding, this one has been at me for a good 2 months. And, I think I've picked the place. I just need a utah buddy sept 6-7... cause doing it by myself might be way lame.
11. Repel... I did it once anchored to an suv parked on top of a land bridge... and it was way awesome. I even had to climb out by shimmying up a narrow rock crevice... locking my knees apart so I could balance on them and have my hands free to find a new grip.... IT WAS AWESOME.
12. VIsit my sister in AZ... cause it has been a good 4 or so years, and I feel like meeting her boyfriend.
13. Visit my brother in Chicago (and his family of course).


I'm sure there are a ton more, but it has been well over an hour since I last tried sleeping, and it is late

By the way. I successfully cleaned my digital sensor without ruining my camera. Took 25 dollars and a good 45 minutes to get it up to my pickyness, but i have enough supplies left to do this once a month (which wouldn't neary be as dirty) for probably 2 years.

cleaning

So, A while back I took my lens in to get cleaned. I got it back, and indeed the giant magic mystery leaf in the middle of my lens was gone. Sadly, the spots on my images were not. grrrr. I had trusted the guy and thought he'd have the decency to clean the lens whilst he had it completely taken apart.

Now, months later, I realize it may not be the lens at all and resolve to check about sensor cleaning. I go outside, do the whole photograph the sky test at f22, switch to my crappy cheep lens and do the same test.... load images to computer... and.... and... and.... Crap. Good news is that my faith has been restored to my trusty lens cleaner and I will gladly recommend him to others. Bad news is that all 22 dust spots are in exactly the same place in both images... meaning the dust is on my camera sensor. Fortunately I don't typically take photos of light surfaces at F22, but there are still a good 2 spots I am continually photoshoping out of my images... and that needs to stop. seriously.

Unfortunately there is only one method of cleaning the sensor that digital slr manufacturers recommend... and the online consensus seems to be that it just moves the spots around. good news is there are other ways of cleaning it... at the risk of ruining your camera... though instances of that seem to be few and typically caused by pure stupidity or carelessness on the cleaners part.
So... not like most of you reading this really care about the cleaning procedures for a digital slr.... but what the heck. I'm gunna tell you about it anyway.

Dear Lady friends

So the other day I opened craig's list in the search for housing, and was accidently searched the san francisco listings.... I came across this ad that gave me the hebie jebies... I wish I had saved it, because Saturday alone there were more than 100 postings,and I can't find this one from friday, but here is a paraphrasing of the posting:

Studio apartment for 200 a month. it is so cheep because I don't really need the money. send me a letter telling me why I should rent it to you and why you need this apartment. It's okay if you don't speak good english- I myself am a russian immigrant. Like I said, I don't really need the money, I just want to make sure I rent it to someone who won't take advatange of my kindness.

( and then at the very bottom of the ad)

No men please.




Okay....is that not a giant red flag. No men? You want to rent this apartment out for only 200 dollars out of the generosity of your heart... as long as it is not a man. Okay, so you don't need money, but what exactly do you need.... favors of some sort? Any girl that replies to that is way to naive for her own good.

And just to prove it

I just got a job that I think I'll like.

Here's to the future.

25 is not too Old

- To learn German
- To Re-Learn French
- To get a job I like
- To learn to be domestic (Knit, crochet, cook, sew)
- To Start Snowboarding
- To learn HTML
- To finnish school
- To start eating better
- To Get a new hobby
- To develop Self Confidence.
- To rekindle old friendships
- To make up for mistakes in the educational process
- To consider grad school.
- To learn to spell a few new words
- To take a dance class

ProCon

So, I interviewed today, and I thought I'd summarize the experience thus:

Pro:
1. I get to take pictures. Not do customer service, not work in a warehouse. Actually related to my study.
2. I get to do some graphic Design. Good chance to build portfolio, good entry level for my basic skills.
3. Flexible hours... aka, I can come in at midnight and work on those nights I can't sleep till 4 am.
4. Probably will count as an internship, so I can finally graduate... and it would be a paying internship.
5. They seem to like me.
6. 70 dollars worth of free scrapbooking magazines just for interviewing.
7. I'm over qualified, so won't be too high stress.
8. As company continues to grow, so will my opportunities (ie. they plan on starting a 5th (monthly or bimonthly) publication.)
9. They let me have a copy of the pics I took during my interview process (since, technically, they are mine... seeing as I wasn't paid for them... it sounded like they were things they had already photographed anyhow, but a few of them I really really liked. I should be a set dresser too. I am awesome with props.)
10. Every month my mom could go to micheals, flip through the magazine and say "oh my... look at that, my daughter took this picture, and that picture... oh, and this picture..."
11. Will make for a rather more impressive resume in the future.

Con.
1. Pay is poor (for what they are going to be getting out of me.)
2. Poor insurance options
3. Only Part time, for now
4. Work is rather simple, and would boor me if it wasn't for the joys of the PROP CLOSET.... ohhh and color coordinating.
5. The majority of the drive to work is sickeningly similar to that of the 2 worst jobs I have ever had in my life.
6. When I leave there parking lot I get to face a building with the Horrid memory inducing XACTWARE logo on it.

I'm sure there is more. Anyhow, I don't know yet.

Officially entering Nerdville....

Okay, so there are starwars nerds, star track nerds, Dungeons and Dragons nerds, Pokemon nerds, regular old wiz kid nerds... and I just realized that I am on the verge of becoming a board game nerd. I'm still a junior level nerd, mind you... but its pulling me in.
A year ago on our 1st anniversary. Being poor students, we figured it would be best just to go have dinner or something, but Brett Surprised me by using some fun money he'd saved up to take me on a shopping trip for some much needed new clothes (that's right... he waited while I tried things on for hours... talk about love).

On our way out of the mall we walked past a game store and stopped in just for the heck of it and walked out a while later with our first board game. He got 2 more for his birthday, 2 more for Christmas with one expansion (and then he spent some gift money on 4 or 5 more expansions), and finally one more for my birthday/our 2nd anniversary. Then I find a discontinued game in our local game store, make the mistake of telling Brett about it, and spend an hour convincing him we shouldn' spend the money on it and I'll try desperately to get it for his birthday.

Okay, so so far I'm not a dedicated nerd, just someone with a lot of less common board games who likes to p lay... but then tommorow Brett is going to have a Lan (land?) battlefield party in the computer lab he admins... just 20 macintoshes and as many people as they can find to join in on a single game. ... So I thinks, I got to get my self something to do... So I:

1. Scout facebook groups for my favorite groups and see if I can find anyone locally to play.
2. Realize that people continually drop g roups and no one is remotely close, so spend quite a bit of time concidering making a provo board game group
3. find a byu board game group that hasn't been touched in half a year
4. Sign up for some online board game play (free) and try to figure out how it works
5. find a group that meets in sugarhouse (an hour away) once a week to play board games

Then I realize I am pathetic and need to get a life.

Quote of the dayish

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made proofreaders "
-Mark Twain

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards "
-Mark Twain

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boys "
-What I thought I heard when my husband read me the last quote.

Once he corrected me, I didn't think it was quite as funny. But that's probably only because I'm not a teacher

5 productive things I did today

1. I looked at an apartment that I am not going to rent after all
2. I went to a job interview. A REAL interview... for a job with a SALARY
3. I found and applied to 3 Photo jobs (all located within 30 minutes).. and not one of them was located in a mall, walmart, target, or department store. (Oddly two of them were within the scrap-booking field)
4. I posted 10 plus computer games for sale on craigslist
5. I thought about working on my website.

Saved by the Bell

Ummm... so, I was still in Elementary school in the 80's... is that really how bad people dressed in high school. I mean, I knew the hair was for real, and maybe a few out fits, but oh my....

Pictures

...ummm so those online photo albums I haven't touched in a year....

Well, they're still far behind, but I have added a lot of pics to them, in the family and photobooth categories.. For those of you on blogspot it's the top link under "more places" on the left, for the 2 or so of you on facebook, it's listed as one of my websites. And no, I have no intention of uploading all the pictures to facebook or myspace. Once is enough.

Words of comfort from an OBGYN

( as she pulls out those notorious metal clamps ) "Oh. Some one forgot to turn the warmer on."

... and now for something gross.

I don't know why I am sharing this with you.

So my body happens to be smart, meaning it happens to know vegetables are evil... So at sometime during my preadolescence it decided it should develop an alergic reaction to the few vegatables I would actually eat- Namely, Carrots, potato (skin), and Celery.

Now, I can only eat these things cooked, and heaven forbid I should try to peel them, lest any scratches in my hands will puff up, my nose will run, and my eyes will itch like crazy. In fact, even if someone else in the room peels carrots my eyes still try to claw themselves out from the inside. Cool, huh.

Well, unfortunately, to cook carrots in order to eat them... I still have to peel them. So, in order to cut the effects in half, I have learned to follow these simple rules.

1. Leave the trash lid that springs up and down with a foot pedal
2. keep Kleenex near by and easily accessible.
3. Take contacts out prior to carrot contact, and have eye drops ready.
4. Wash hands with soap in between each carrot.
5. peel carrots into trash and keep lid closed whenever possible.
6. Take Trash outside of the kitchen asap to keep nutritious poisons under control.

So a week or so ago I decided to make lentil soup and went through my carrot routine. I had a long but insignificant scratch on my thigh. On my thigh, mind you... and I happened to have clothes covering them. it was one of those light scratches that doesn't even seem to break the skin, just leave a little red trail.

So you can imagine my surprise when my leg itches, I go to the restroom, and find this lovely surprise on my thigh.... The puff was 1/4 to 1/2 inch wide... which I know is hard to tell from my bad photo

The moral of this story is "don't eat your carrots."

Enjoy the scandalous picture of my thigh.

My Sad attempt to be Nymphadora Tonks

Wow, That was just the Lamest Harry Potter book release party I have EVER been to.


I decided that this was my last chance to go to a Harry Potter Book release party, and so when I found out that My sister in Law and her husband were going after all, I decided to tag along...10 minutes to make up a costume. I decided to be tonks, but that is alot of hair to spike. Anyhow Borders was L A M E. THere Idea of decorating was printing out (laser, black and white.) crests for each house... ohhhh and then they cut poster board into strips and scribled things in puffy paint. probably 3% dressed up. Maybe 5.

After all I heard about Barnes and Noble going all out with decorating, staff in costume, I was highly dissapointed. Heck, THe Ikea grand opening was cooler, and that- my friends- is sad.

and now, I must try and wash a half a bottle of hair glue out of my hair.

and this is why i don't go to enrichment

So, i saw that enrichment was going to be "makeovers" My first thought.... ahhhghhhh Mary Kay? endorsed by the relief society? Llast time it was not actually through r.s.... just someone taking advantage of all the people they knew through it... but that girl is gone for the summer, so I figured that I was safe. I was wrong. Un beknownst to be, a Mary Kay Rep moved in this summer.

For those who don't know me well

To avoid any future confusion, I would like to make this absolutely, utterly, with out a doubt 100% clear:

I reserve the right to make up words and phrases and use them at my leisure- So if you ask were I was and I tell you I've been "bush brambling," take my word for it, I have. Don't argue with me.

HAPPY BASTILE DAY

In other news, I just found this blog that makes me muchos happy...

http://skulladay.blogspot.com/

enjoy the creative outlet.

MINE MINE MINE MINE

I gots it. I gots my site. I gots email too. One day, I'll even set it up, and then guess what? You'll be able to email me at IAmYourMaster@charlotterae.com, or GiveMeYourMoney@charlotterae.com, or maybe ILoveBrett@charlotterae.com.....ohhhh the many options I will have.

All in a dither- a TRUE Story

I am all in a dither, I am sore excited. I couldn't sleep because I just couldn't sleep, and now I can't sleep because CHARLOTTERAE.COM is available.....

That's right, I can buy it for 8.95 a year, and I WANT IT.

just for the heck of it, at 4:40 am , I tried going to the stupid website so that I could PINE the rest of the night away... and Safari couldn't find the server....

"What?" I asked myself, "did I spell my own name wrong?"
So I check it, looks fine, retype it just incase.

Still no server, so I ask myself "is it one of those picky sites that don't work if there is no www.?"
So I try it with www. first.

Still no server, SO i ask myself " Did our internet stop working."
So I check my e -mail, everything is fine.

So I go back to Godaddy.com where just minutes before I had been pathetically searching through domain name auctions, and look up charlotteRae.com and it is GREEN. Not Red, mind you, but GREEN, as in, "GO AHEAD, I DARE YOU TO GO AND BUY ME." and this time I know I spelled it right, after all, I've been spelling c-h-a-r-l-o-t-t-e r-a-e on the top right hand corner of all my papers since junior high.

Weird, I know, I cant help it if my parents picked out a middle name I rather like.

So just for the heck of it, I try it one more time to make sure no one has bought CharlotteRae.com in the last 30 seconds- you know, at 4:42 in the morning- and I am strangely afraid they have.

So, for some reason I am afraid that someone is going to buy it, that the looser who was using it before let it go on accident.

and to think, a week ago I almost e-mailed the people who owned it to try and buy it from them, and got interrupted and never sent it. They probably would have renewed the name just to milk me for some ridiculous amount of money. And I don't like being milked, it brings back traumatic memories of one of my previous lives.

So I think ask my self ( as i have been doing a lot lately, as everyone else is asleep and it is rude to ask other people when they are sleeping) " should I buy it now, should I wake brett? WHere should I buy it from, I don't know what to do about servers. blah blah blah blah.

its kind of weird, cause I finally started designing my website today... or yesterday.

oh, and part of me wonders if the site name opened up merely because I kept checking, and godaddy got annoyed with me pestering him.

Website contest

Sooo... the entrants to my contest were pretty pathetic. (No offense Becky and Kelsi, I meant the number of entrants...since you were the only ones that actually submitted something, you get cookies.)

anyhow, here are my thoughts.

1. CharlotteValantine.com - I'll just have to deal with the fact that someone owns charlottevalentine.com and isn't even really using it anymore.

2. Simplyphotographic.com - not very personal, but the only decent "company" name that is left. I got my inspiration from the "simply orange juice" company... so technically I should bake them cookies. oddly enough, simplyphotography.com is another local utah company, so I would feel someone cheep using it... like I was trying to slyly steal their cliental.

3. Go with a nickname:
a- CharloRae.com (but Charlo sounds kind of made up?)
b- LottieRae.com, LottieValentine.com, LottieValantine.com (granted, no one has ever called me Lottie, but it is a legitimate abbreviation for Charlotte).
c- CharlyRae.com (Charlierae.com is taken by that little girl in the Little Manhattan movie.)

4. Make up a first or last name, use it as a "doing business as" name:
a- CharlotteRiley.com
b-LibbyRae.com

5. Go Completely Cheesey: "Charlotography.com"

6. Try to contact the company that owns charlotterae.com and see if they will sell it to me, because they don't deserve to have it.

No steeling my website namess... under penalty of HATE. Please vote now.

Many updates.

1. I got a job offer at the first place I applied. Too easy. I told them yes, then I called an hour later to tell them no. I didn't really want to work there. I used my alergies as a (valid) excuse. Who wants to buy potato salad and thinly sliced ham from a snot fountain.

2. Laundry mat finds:
In our laundry rooms, people post all sorts of things.. mostly stuff they are selling because they are moving, but occasionaly things like "pay me to draw a sketch of you" or " pay me to teach your kids to swim in the freshman housing pool." This, discovered today, was my favorite. At first I thought I must have misread it... that it actually said baby sitter, but no, it is baby sister. I am not sure weather they want to sell one or buy one though. The details, " color for 3 clock 11 how" didn't mean much to me.

I also found, where the di box once was, a calculator the size of a scale. Pretty sweet, but I left it there.


3.



being jobless brings out the redecorator in me. I started cleaning the spare room because Brett's mom is coming into town. That led me to reorganize the closet and condense stuff to less boxes, that led to me finally hanging some of the picture frames I made last year, that led to me to bringing my plants back inside, that led me to wanting to make curtains to cover our doorless closet, that led to me going to the devil's own walmart and buying pretty pale blue fancy material for 1 dollar a yard and making the prettiest curtains ever. Then I decided to startch some fabric in the strip between the kitchen sink and the cubbords, but brett reminded me that I had some tile walpaper from a photoshoot and so I made my own walpaper paste out of flour and ta da... I still think orange fabric would have been prettier, but this was already paid for. ohhh.. and I hung another mini mirror above the sink. I like how it takes me 2 years living here before I decided to decorate... I swear it looks much better than my cruddy pics. Maybe I'll take some nicer pictuers during the day with better lighting theese one's are pretty bad

4. Brett's mom is coming tomorow, and this time I found out ahead of time. Though technically, if I hadn't seen an email from her to him on our computer dashboard gmail widget thingy and told him about her comming in the first place, there is a chance I wouldn't have found out until she sent me a "just incase brett didn't tell you" email yesterday. Last t ime I got a 3 hour warning she was comming. I would just like to note, it takes her 10 ish hours to drive here... and she had told him many days before.

5. I decided to play handball by myself this evening while brett was working. For some reason or another, many people up here don't know what it is. They don't have handball courts either. weird. anyhow, we share our basketball/tennis courts (with one inexplicable wall) with the student Forign Language houses ( where people live and are forced to speak a certain language so they learn it.) So I went to play there. Two guys on the next court started playing some handball/racquetball hybrid, but then one guy ditched the other 'cause some cute girl walked by. So, I got invited to play, and I did, and I had told him I lived n wymount... which pretty much every one in Provo knows means married student housing...

Anyhow, so he started asking if i was going to see the harry potter movie, that he had just bought 2 tickets, and I said, Eventually, but I usually wait until the dollar theater, then he went off on how the tickets aren't really as hard to get as people think... they're not sold out, and i said that my mother-in-law was coming up and we might go see it with her....

this is his reply: " wait? Mother in law? so you are married? (pointing to his ring finger.... t hank you, dear boy, for the visual aid"

"yes, hence wymount (I pointed)"

(I thinks to my's selves: "ahhh... so you only want to play tennis with single girls")

" all that is married housing?"

Welcome to BYU, young nerdy boy.
How can you live next to the "rabbit hutches" and not know.

He waited the polite 1.5 minutes of playing before saying " what time is it... ohhh I got to go."

aka " I got to find a date to harry potter"

The moral of this last story is, "my butt hurts, and I like it, and I want to learn to play tennis."

What I did after work today

I took 7 "sorting hat" quizes.
My results

4 hufflepuff, all the ones that showed your points showed Ravenclaw in a close second... Not that it matters, If being kind and extremely loyal makes me "not so bright" Than I'm okay with... wait, no, I'm insulted. I don't want to be stupid.
1 ravenclaw
1 Gryfindor
1. gryfinpuff

My first severance, babies and such.

I came back from my family reunion on thursday night, and arrived at work the next day to find out there'd been a takeover and it was my last official day of work. Good news? I get to weeks extra pay in severence... and since I'm getting payed pretty well working in Riverton, I'm not in a rut to find a job right away.

Good quotes on this subject include
"I Feel like someone just peed in my cherio's"- Clint
"If life was fair, there would only be one bra size" - John

Other news, Nanial and tiff just had their second baby boy, "Ashton _____ Clark" . Tiffany's mom has some photo's on her website http://www.windsor-photo.com/ashton/index.htm.

As for the reunion itself, there is some good stuff I might post later, but as for right now, I have a ward directory to publish... Hopefully by monday.

ladybugs, wasps, and Ontario.

Number of wasps building nests that I was worked within 6 inches of this weekend--- 4
Number of times I was stung by said wasps---0
Number of Ladybugs that I was bitten by (that's right-bitten) this weekend---2
Number of Ladybugs I have since uncompassionately flicked off of my skin---2

Something here is backwards.


Other than that, I want to know who keeps calling me from Toronto, Canada when I am not home.


OH, ya, and I am disappointed that only 2 of you have submitted web-page names to my contest.

Contest

I want a website. I need a good name for it. If you win, I bake you cookies, or something.

Guidelines:
1. Must be an available domain name (check godaddy.com or something).
2. Can't be Charlotte Valantine.com because who the heck would spell my name right... besides charlotteValentine.com is a skanky model.
3.Something I would eventually use for my photography site, needs to be business proper- or at least really cool... so nothing like misterTismyhero.com will win
4. must be .com... I don't want .info, .biz, or anything else incredibly lame
5.no hyphens, dashes, or other stupid symbols

I can't sleep. I really want something now before even alkj354l kete.com is taken.

Things I learned from my first grand opening campout (IKEA)

1. You can make friends with anyone in a queue on a long, dark, cold night-- especially if your friend brings her laptop and episodes of "the office."

2. One of those people may have no idea what IKEA is but will camp out just because they heard about it on the news and had nothing better to do.

3. You will be surprised how many people you actually know will spend the night in anticipation for it.

4. Wal-mart sells a lot of tents the night before to people who realize that a few blankets ain't gunna hack it.

5. There is such thing as a tent who's only supports are the stakes in the ground and a hiking stick that props it up a middle

6. Such a tent is not designed for use on asphalt, but can be made to work with a bit of creativity

7. Never underestimate the importance of a large black tablecloth when camping in a brightly lit parking lot.

8. More people snore than you would think.

9. Asphalt is actually quite comfortable with a few layers of blankets below you.

10. Camping out for a grand opening is like a road trip. Often ridiculously pointless, but quite the bonding experience.

11. The morning news obviously has nothing better to report on (much like people have nothing better than to take work off for a store's grand opening.

12. You should expect pointless 10 minute speeches from each the mayer, the congressman, and the US head of IKEA. None of them will be interesting in the least. The mayer will, inexplicably, devote part of his speech to the topic of CORN... as in the vegetable.

13. The swedes cut logs, not ribbons.

14. Utah Housewives who have never seen IKEA before need to be restrained. I have never seen so many people rack up thousands of dollars of impulse buys in my life.

15. It is dangerous to overzealously cheer along with the designated IKEA spirt team. You may find yourself in the Salt lake tribune Online (possibly print?). For further explanation, see #11... and the featured photo.

Ohhh and my favorite part was when I saw some one from church who always comes across as nice, and I decided not to be shy and to say hello... to which they were completely rude. Ya... like I'm going to go to your enrichment tonight.

Things I miss about California- 1

Kangaroo rats

How cool are they. I remember playing with them- rather tame creatures- in Clinton Hinebaugh's front yard (down the street).

Semi-anual quote of the day

"A man without his motercycle is like a woman without icecream."
~Nathanial Clark~

Surrogate husbands, and such

You know that seen in the Cheeper by the Dozen where the mom has the bed all to herself and can't sleep, so she asks room service to send up 12 pillows? Well, that's how I feel right now--only I couldn't find that many pillows.

The Brett.

Brett flew to California (well, the plane flew... no mocking me) Thursday, and took his DGA test this morning (directors guild association producer training program ). They called him this evening and asked him to interview on monday. After that we just have to wait for a call on June 1st to tell us if he is starting in August. I am sore excited.

The origin of (wo)man

I should have known better

I am one of those people who always sings along with the radio. It's a long standing tradition with me. I get into it and rather enjoy my self. Brett on the other hand RARELY ever sings along, and if he starts to it is always quiet and he stops the moment he realizes you noticed. I never really understood this mentality... I mean, who cares? I know I'm not a great singer- that is why i would never sing a solo- so I often wonder why are some people so self conscious?

I think I just figured it out.

When one sings along to a song, the original music helps hide the flaws... but when you wear headphones, you are the only one who reaps the benefits of the backup music. Every one else? Well, they just hear you, and by you I mean me- and I sing with my headphones on a lot... sometimes in public.

You know how when you hear your voice recorded you insist that your voice sounds funny/different, but everyone else says, "no, that's what you sound like when you talk" and you say "wow, I sound like a valley girl." or "is my voice really that manly?" Well, Brett is out of town, and I am bored, so I decided to play around with all the fun computer software... eventually ending in me recording my voice while I was listening to headphones... because I was curious, and I'm sure you know what they say about curiousity.

So just one question to those of you who know me... Am I tone deaf?

I don't want to share my blood with the mosquitos.

so, I have made the following pro-con list.

1. Stop Eating Sugar:
PRO if they do get my blood, they would get hyper off of it.
CON I'd have to be capable of quitting sugar and think that might require expensive therapy.

2. Only step outside between an hour after dawn and an hour before dusk
PRO- I don't ever think I've gotten a mosquito bite in broad daylight.
CON- But I actually started running semi-regularly for the first time EVER and it's either hot or raining during the day

3. purchase bug spray
PRO- it seems to cut down on bites.
CON- it tastes bad and I can never seem to remember to wash my hands before i eat (Yes, I do wash them when I leave the restroom.

4. Become a fish and live under water for the rest of my life.
PRO- I love water
CON- I don't have gills, and I don't like pruney toes.

5. Cary a sword with me everywhere I go
PRO- I'd look pretty cool
CON- I'd probably hurt myself more than the mosquitos.

6. Rub basil and lemon grass on me.
PRO- I'd give everyone something to talk about
CON- That would be a lot of fresh herbs to go through, and who knows if it would actually work

7. Carry a lit citronella candle with me.
PRO- I'll be ready for any last minute candle light vigils.
CON- um, I'm sure youl='ll think of something.

8. Eat a teaspoon of garlic a day
PRO- Garlic is nummy and will double as an un-dead repellent.
CON- I'd smell like garlic.

So far I'm betting on # 7. let me know if you have any good ideas.

Its an Epedimic

My Friend Ashlee just sent me a link to this year-old picture on her web page. It's making me think about starting a dog accesory company.... I want to make doggie du rags, some cool collar necklace attachments, and pacifiers that look like grills.

Thoughts anyone?

Spotlight moment, Meet Lucy.

Lucy is a little territorial lap dog that belongs to Sophie (Brett's recently acquired stepsister).

Lucy has a boyfriend-or at least she pretends he's her boyfriend-who is at least 6 times her size, and if any other female dog allows Mr. Boyfriend to smell her hiny, Lucy will SNAP at her.

Well, In addition to this dog named Lucy, Sophie has a baby nephew named Cannon. Sometimes baby Cannon comes over and people pay attention to him. What gives? Lucy has supernatural intelligence and she knows why everyone loves Cannon. Idiots like you and me might think it was because Cannon is a baby and everyone loves babies. Lucy knows we are wrong-no one likes babies. Lucy knows that everyone loves Cannon because he has a pacifier, and pacifiers are hypnotic devices developed by the government to make people pay attention to their babies and remember to feed them.

So, naturally, Lucy concludes that the only way to secure her place in this cruel world shaped by natural selection is to find a pacifier, pick it up in her mouth, and jump on Brett's Lap. She continues to walk around the house with her hypnotic device for some time before she gives up.

You see, what Lucy did not know is that the hypnotic properties of the pacifier were designed to be activated by baby saliva enzymes. Poor Lucy, She has no baby saliva enzymes.

Free Tickets, any one?

Ohhhhh, I know I got you excited... good thing too, 'cause this is the real deal. I really have free tickets, and I just might give them away.

Unfortunately, I will not be in Valencia California in time for THE event, so I am forced to sacrifice my billionaire potential to one of you lucky readers. To win them, you must post a comment along with your name (and contact info if I don't have it) stating why you should should win these tickets.

I know I was soooooo lucky to receive these "special guest VIP Tickets," free in the mail, and it just pains me to part with these tickets that came accompanied by a letter from, that's right, DONALD TRUMP. I know it is typically not polite to post exerts from personal letters online, but I'm pretty sure Donald Trump wouldn't mind:

"Please be my personal guest to hear my real story on Trump wealth creation from my closest adviser, George Ross...and you will receive a special gift; A COMPLIMENTARY EDITION OF 'TRUMP STYLE NEGOTIATION'"

It pains me to give away these 2 very valuable special guest vip tickets for May 2nd 8am-5:30pm at the valencia hyatt... but I obviously cannot just throw them away, I mean, you get a free book for just 9.5 hours of your time.

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