Don't look surprised, you were never normal.: true

I've been 30 now for 10 months. AND I FEEL LIKE AN OLD MAN.

Don't get me wrong, I actually feel in pretty good shape: I have energy, I don't feel like I'm falling apart, but there have been some new health/behavioral developments that, when I think about them, make me sound like an old FART. I think about them, and I say to myself " Charlo, you are an old fart." To this I reply "yes, yes you are." Granted, many of them are directly related to pregnancy, but not all. Let me explain.

T is for Thrifty:

So thrifty, I don't flush the toilet between the hours of midnight and 8 am, because that would be wasteful. Seriously, all those tanks of water flushing down miniscule amounts of urine. What a waste.

Pregnancy hasn't been a big help with this one.

H is for Hemroids:

When I think of Hemroids, I think of Old People. Young people don't get throbbing pain as their vericose veins pop out of their bottom. Well, of all the stereotypes for pregnancy that I didn't get (bad nausea for one), I was lucky enough to get this one, even though I had NEVER heard about it happening with pregnancy. Pain was helped with WITCH HAZEL on cotton balls (homemade tucks pads). Now I rarely feel them, though they are there. when they itch, I pull out the witch hazel.

I is for Insomnia and Bladder Infections:

Fortunately, the insomnia isn't constant. It comes in few day incrimints wherein I can only sleep in 3-4 hour time slots before I am completely awake... and it's not just the peeing. I can fall right back asleap most of the million times I wake to pee. It's not even baby discomfort. It's just hormones, I guess. Makes me think of Grandpa Jim. I swear the man never slept. He took naps. Lots of them.

Oh, the bladder infections. I startedg getting mild ones several times in the last several months. Not so bad now, but part of that is because I've learned to pee even at the slightest inkling to avoid backwash. This means I might get up 5 times in a 15 minute period when I've just laid down to sleep, hence my reluctance to waste water by flushing 20 times.

R is for REFLUX, RIBS, and RECEDING GUMLINES:

Oh, the Old people and their silly " I can't eat that, it will give me heartburn." I loved my spicy food and acidic fruits, and tomato sauces. I secretly thought I would never have to worry about that stuff. I was tough. I was imune.

I was stupid. In the begining of February Heart burn came out of no where and ruined my life. Then, it evolved from my standard discomfort, to deep discomfort, to actually being able to feel the fluid move up my throat. Yuck. Sometimes I'd have to sleep sitting up. Cayenne pepper in water, oddly, helps a lot with this though.

RIBS: So last week I had to start holding my rib when I coughed. BECAUSE IT HURT SO BAD. Holding in your rib while you cough does not make you feel spry.

RECEDING GUMS: Yup. I had to switch to a "SOFT" toothbrush, and change my toothpaste. I couldn't see the recede, but I wen't into the dentist and confirmed that the pain at the top of my tooth near the gum line was receding gum lines. My mother had success with putting coconut oil on hers, So I switched to using baking soda mixed into coconut oil as my toothpaste, and slowly the pain went away. Now I don't notice when I eat, though I can still find some peircing pain with my finger nail if I look for it. BUT ON LESS TEETH! yip yip.

T is for Temperpedic:

Ahhh. The mattress of the Octogenarian. Old people love them. I love them. I was hating our mattress, my back hurt, I wanted space. We tried a Costco nock off. returned it, then come black friday, we splurged. We got the mattress I'd been eyeballing for 6 months "on sale" for 2K. Who the heck spends 2K on a mattress? Me. I did. If I didn't want it before I was preggers, I sure wanted it now that I was 2 months preggers. I had brett massaging my back every night at that point. A couple more back rubs and 2 weeks of breaking myself into the temperpedic (I didn't like it at first, but they don't let you trade until 30 days) and AHHHHHHHHHH. no more back pain. Amazing support. Better sleep... and since we got a King, no more sweaty Brett legs pushing me off the bed.

Y is for Yada yada yada:

First of all, Do you know where I am typing this from? My Balcony. I put a chair on my balcony so I could sit here and people watch while I do this. If it were a rocking chair and I had a bowl of cherries next to me, it would be even better.

I finally have a fairly consistent bed time,a nd sometimes I will even go to bed crazy early. I have never gone this long without staying up crazy late. I even leave peoples houses because it is 10:30 and I need to get ready for bed.

THE PILL BOX: So I totally have a weekly pillbox now so I remember to take everything... and I put an alert/ checklist in my phone to remind me to take them, so that I could disperse them throughout the day.

It's compartmentalized, isn't it beautiful? Fortunately, I'm not on everything anymore, but at one point I had:

4 vitamins
2 Cranberry concentrate pills (bladder infection)
1 lysine (Cold sores were coming like crazy any time I stoped taking them in the winter)
2 Cod liver oil
2 Herbal Laxatives/stool softeners. (Hemorrhoids, because apparently once a day isn't often enough)

This has been my most eventful summer since getting married. it actually feels more like summer.
B's mom was visiting us on my birthday through our 6th anniversary, so Brett and I (and Carissa, because she is really that awesome) Celebrated everything a weekish after the anniversary by KAYAKING DOWN THE PROVO RIVER. It was fun... We all want to do it again. Brett has finally realized that his idea of kayaking down a peaceful lake is, in fact, boring, and we are all ready for something a little rougher than the Provo River. It had a nice steady flow, with a few minority rough parts (aka the fun parts). It was perfect for my first Kayaking adventure because it wasn't too dull nor to overwhelming.