Its an Epedimic

My Friend Ashlee just sent me a link to this year-old picture on her web page. It's making me think about starting a dog accesory company.... I want to make doggie du rags, some cool collar necklace attachments, and pacifiers that look like grills.

Thoughts anyone?

Spotlight moment, Meet Lucy.

Lucy is a little territorial lap dog that belongs to Sophie (Brett's recently acquired stepsister).

Lucy has a boyfriend-or at least she pretends he's her boyfriend-who is at least 6 times her size, and if any other female dog allows Mr. Boyfriend to smell her hiny, Lucy will SNAP at her.

Well, In addition to this dog named Lucy, Sophie has a baby nephew named Cannon. Sometimes baby Cannon comes over and people pay attention to him. What gives? Lucy has supernatural intelligence and she knows why everyone loves Cannon. Idiots like you and me might think it was because Cannon is a baby and everyone loves babies. Lucy knows we are wrong-no one likes babies. Lucy knows that everyone loves Cannon because he has a pacifier, and pacifiers are hypnotic devices developed by the government to make people pay attention to their babies and remember to feed them.

So, naturally, Lucy concludes that the only way to secure her place in this cruel world shaped by natural selection is to find a pacifier, pick it up in her mouth, and jump on Brett's Lap. She continues to walk around the house with her hypnotic device for some time before she gives up.

You see, what Lucy did not know is that the hypnotic properties of the pacifier were designed to be activated by baby saliva enzymes. Poor Lucy, She has no baby saliva enzymes.

Free Tickets, any one?

Ohhhhh, I know I got you excited... good thing too, 'cause this is the real deal. I really have free tickets, and I just might give them away.

Unfortunately, I will not be in Valencia California in time for THE event, so I am forced to sacrifice my billionaire potential to one of you lucky readers. To win them, you must post a comment along with your name (and contact info if I don't have it) stating why you should should win these tickets.

I know I was soooooo lucky to receive these "special guest VIP Tickets," free in the mail, and it just pains me to part with these tickets that came accompanied by a letter from, that's right, DONALD TRUMP. I know it is typically not polite to post exerts from personal letters online, but I'm pretty sure Donald Trump wouldn't mind:

"Please be my personal guest to hear my real story on Trump wealth creation from my closest adviser, George Ross...and you will receive a special gift; A COMPLIMENTARY EDITION OF 'TRUMP STYLE NEGOTIATION'"

It pains me to give away these 2 very valuable special guest vip tickets for May 2nd 8am-5:30pm at the valencia hyatt... but I obviously cannot just throw them away, I mean, you get a free book for just 9.5 hours of your time.

submit your entries now:

WE WON'T ANSWER OUR PHONE

This is a public announcement. Brett and I will be watching my bro's dog while he is out of town, so we won't be home to answer our house phone all that mucch. We'll check it, mind you, and possibly call you back- but not promptly.

If anyone needs to get a hold of us, you are best to e-mail us or text our pre-paid cell phone. Brett is usually in the Mad Lab in the mornings when he is not in class.

The end.

butcher knife and plexy glass

Today Brett put in the air conditioner, which required that we install plexi glass in our window. Any one who has ever tried cutting plexi glass with anything except a circular/table saw knows that it is a complete joke. They sell these things called plexi-glass cutters, which I have used in the past, and they work maybe a notch better than...let's say... trying to cut bone with a swiss army knife; it can be done, but you better have the patience of a person who finds extreme satisfaction in scratching a piece of plastic for hours on end.

Brett aparently got fed up with the said cutter because he took a butcher knife and started hacking away at the plexi-glass.... shards raining everywhere- to the couch cushion, over the computer, etc. I seriously considered putting on some sort of goggles. I value my eyes. Without them, I would be a very sad blogger.

waisting my time... again

1. YOUR SPY NAME:
(middle name and current street name)
Rae Wymount, David Wymount

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME:
(grandfather/grandmother on your dad's side, your favorite candy)
Mary Lou Bounty, Vernon Dove

3. YOUR RAP NAME
(first initial of first name, first three or four letters of your last name)
C-Vala, B-Va

4. YOUR GAMER TAG:
(a favorite color, a favorite animal)
Orange Giraffe, Blue Dog

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:
(middle name, city where you were born)
Rae La Jolla, David Thousand Oaks

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:
(first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
Valiercha, Valloreve

7. JEDI NAME:
(middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards)
Ear Reihtuo, Divad Rolyat

8. PORN STAR NAME:
(first pet's name, the street you grew up on)
Baby Barnhill, Winston Coneflower

9. SUPERHERO NAME:
("The", your favorite color, the automobile your dad drives)
The Orange Camry, The Blue Del Sol

10. YOUR ACTION HERO NAME:
(first name of the main character in the last film you watched, last food you ate)
Eragon Alfredo, Eragon Pasta Salad



Ohhhh boy, neither Brett apparently have much of a future. It looks like Brett's best bet is either rap star or porn star. I, however don't have any future. Maybe, just maybe, I can be a star wars character

Ward exploitation, a haiku

You don't wear make-up,
New Mary Kay Consultant-
and neither do I.